A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for nearly five months now, we have known each other for 18 months. When I met him he was still with his wife and I with my boyfriend. Now he is legally seperated from her and planning on getting a divorce when he can afford it. BUT they still work together! Not in the same room but for the same company and in the same building. No matter what he or anyone says, this really upsets me. I know he is not going to the Christmas party because she will be there. For me, it is like a constant reminder for both of them, and I find it hard some days knowing that there is a great chance they will see or hear from each other. What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2007): This is always going to eat away at you until you two build up some history and trust together. Is there no way that he could possibly work somewhere else. I know what you are going through. I had something similar. My last bf used to live in a house that was rented from his ex, we had to pay her rent every week. Pain in the arse. Have a good long chat with him and let him know just what you are going through. I am sure he will be understanding and maybe look for another job and move on.
take care
xx
A
male
reader, Lordtone +, writes (19 November 2007):
 First up - you need to stop worrying and start trusting. I feel I can say this because like you I have a very jealous streak running through me and sometimes you have to put things in perspective. Do you actually trust him? Has he done anything in the past that would make you not trust him? I am guessing at this point that he is trustworthy and hasn't given you any reason to doubt him. Because he works in the same building as her does not mean they want to talk to each other. If you were to encourage your bofriend to find a new place to work where does it stop? You might be living quite close to her, are you going to move house? You might bump into her at the shops, is it time for a new town? What you have to keep saying to yourself is they were together, but it went so badly that in the end they had to seperate - they have already tried to 'make it work' but it didn't and now it is finalised, why would he want to go back? If anything, she is the one person at work that he DEFINITELY wouldn't have an affair with.You should tell your guy that you trust him and let him go to the Christmas party, if nothing else, he needs to celebrate the end of the year with his work colleagues. Why should she get to go and he has to sit at home. Unfortunately this is a problem that is not caused by him or by her but by you. Also it isn't a problem for him or her but for you. In reality the only way the problem can be solved is by coming to terms with the FACT that this guy wants to be with you and no one else.
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