A
female
age
51-59,
*yesha
writes:my mother in law is very close to my husbands ex and i have never been accepted or respected by her. She talks about me behind my back and calls me fat. (i am not) her attitude towards me and my relationshop with her son is totally disrespecful. i need some adive on how to deal with her. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, prayer +, writes (17 June 2007):
hi darling I totally understand where you are coming from I am in exactly the same situation. the best way of dealing with this is to ignore her comments because she oviously is jealous of you and her son relation she thinks you are taking him away, but if you have a srong relation with your husband she has no chance love. All those comments about you being fat is a way of getting to you, next time you see her you dress up and look really glamous and lets see what she has to say then. one more thing have a talk with your husband tell him to have a word with her to stop disrespecting the love of his life his wife.
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (17 June 2007):
 I think you should ignore the woman and try to focus on your relationship with your husband. After all, you cannot pick family...particularly in'laws. It doesn't matter what she says about you because at the end of the day your husband picked you and your relationship with him is all that matters. If mother in law from hell thinks she is affecting you then it probably adds fuel to her fire. Try to make a joke out of it, and if she ever says anything nasty to your face answer her back or just laugh it off. The power in her comments are in their emotional hurt to you so stop taking them personally (she must see you as a threat in some way or wouldnt bother talking about you) - you wont get this woman to like you so why worry about her?
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (17 June 2007):
 Where is your husband in all of this? Does he defend you to his mother or not? There is not much you can do if your inlaws choose not to like you. What you can do is make it clear to your husband what YOUR boundaries are. You need to decide on what occasions you will entertain her company, and on what occasions you won't, and make sure your husband knows this. Set the boundaries now.
If your husband sides with his mother against you...start looking for a new husband.
-Frank B Kermit
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