A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am single and I have been having an affair with a married woman for about 6 months now. She is very sexually adventurous, encouraging me to take her any way I want her. Sometimes we dress up and do roleplay. We just thoroughly enjoy sex with each other. Yesterday I met with her and we had sex. Long story short, she told me she wanted to try something different. She said that she wanted me to "make love" to her next time because she wanted to know what that was like as "it was virtually the only thing we have never tried" and she wants to know what it's like. She said next we need to meet at my place and I need to turn off the lights (we often have sex with the lights on) and light candles and make love to her. I asked her if she meant she just wanted a softer less energetic sort of experience and she said "not necessarily."My question is what is she meaning by this? I make love to her very often. Is she developing some emotions or is this just wanting to change it up? I am confused.
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affair, married woman, mistress Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012): Please allow me to apologize for everyone else who answered this question so far. They are harping on the fact that she is married and choose to judge that aspect of your post rather than answer your question. Their knee-jerk ignorance is unacceptable and obviously unhelpful.
As for your question, perhaps you should think about why she is choosing to step out of her marriage in the first place. She likely wants a type of sex (or certain emotional exchange during sex) which she does not get from her husband. My advice is to do what to can to provide that and make her feel "loved" during intercourse. Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): You wrote in previously here about your mistress wish didn't you? You had lots of advice: didn't this satisfy you?Making love vs taking her like a whore she is? Why would you change anything? Why pretend? Is this her fantasy? You and her are just playing around with words: trying to make it different: trying Very hard to live out the unknown, forbidden, the illicit. Mr OP, use whatever words you or her want: it still doesn't change the fact that you cannot get your own girl but need another mans wife to prove that you are a man. You are a highly insecure person who needs to "show" and "pretend" that you are better than her husband. I'm surprised that you have not figured yourself out yet: babes you are competing. But your competitiveness to prove that you can sex her better than her husband or any of her other lovers is futile: you are all "show" . You think that being a porn star , filling all holes, will make you a better man. It won't !!!I echo what the others have said. I also want to add that when you do find a woman who is not married/or in a relationship , then feel free to write in again, I will humbly answer your "making love" confusion. Up until then I suggest you look into your internal archetecture and see the insecure man that you are. LoveGirl
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): If you were married, would you be ok with another man sleeping around with your wife behind your back? Do unto others as you have them do unto you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): I hate to say it but, making love would never work for you two, saying she's married, but i dont know the situtaion to much from just reading what you have said and im not here to judgh you. Making love is having sex with someone your crazy about, someone you love with your whole heart, were you caress her body and make her feel pleasure instead of focusing on more of yourself, ushaully nice and calm sex, slowly.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2012):
 First of all, really?? You're wasting your life with a married woman. This isn't a relationship.
Second of all, have you ever heard the term "girlfriend experience"? She is asking for the female equivalent, aka the "boyfriend experience". What this means is, she wants you to pretend that you're so in love with her that having sex with her is emotional to you, and that you're giving your heart and soul to her as you're in the act of sex. This involves holding each other, deep long kisses, and face to face long sex.
Absolutely she's developing emotions for you, if she hasn't already. The problem with that is...she's MARRIED. Her being with you is devastating her husband. He just doesn't know it yet, but believe me, when he finds out, it's going to be really bad. She has no problem not only betraying him, but pretending to request that you act like you're completely and totally in love with her while having sex.
The problem with that is, IamHere is right. You can't pretend at making love. You have to actually BE in love, otherwise it's all simulation. She wants to pretend that you're in love with her, and she wants YOU to pretend that you're in love with her.
I don't know about you, but if and when you decide to snap out of this, stop sleeping with married women, and actually fall in love with another woman, how would you feel if that women in the future you truly fell in love with were to ask another man to make love to her?
Trust me, devastated would be an understatement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2012): Making love would never exist between you two because making love is something that happens between two people who are married/in a relationship and they love each other. What you have with your "mistress" is just a casual affair and when you have sex its just for pleasure, and in her case and escape route from her husband, nothing more.
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