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My married lover said his wife and him don't connect...she gave birth today!! I had no idea she was even pregnant. What should I do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Marriage problems, Pregnancy<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 November 2006) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2006)
A female , anonymous writes:

Hi,

I need help.. I fell in love with my married boss..

i know its stupid.. but i did..this was over 2 years ago.. both of us had moved into a new city and were working in the same organization. His family (wife and kid) were in another city and we landed up spending a LOT of time together.. and got closer and closer.. see all the time we were together (dinner .. movies.. drives etc I always got the picture that he was not close to his wife.. infact he even told me that he shares stuff with me that even his wife does not know..

I was getting obsessed so moved out and came back to live with my parents.. but was still in love with him.. Well this feb i finally told him i loved him and he said he kind of knew.. he din say anything but din stop meeting me either..

we still met for dinner when he was in my city.. met for day long picnics.. we are always on sms with each other..

all this while there was no touching involved.. never even shook hands..

but one day about 2 months ago i sent him an sms telling him i wanted to kiss him and was shocked when he said i should have and even sent me an sms sayin "luv u"..

the next time we met he surprised me by parking and we made out..well we also made love.. (in the car)

all throught he kept telling me this is not going anywhere and that there is no future.. but still kept meeting me and making out..

Now i find out TODAY that his wife was pregnant and gave birth today.. all these 9 months no mention of it.. and now boom.. so i guess there goes my theory that his wife and him don't really connect..

the problem is that i don know what to do.. he is behaving like this is no big deal..

should i still be with him coz he never promised me nothing.. or should i ask him to tell me whats going on..

HeLP!!!

View related questions: fell in love, live with my parents, moved in, moved out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006):

Hi.

I am the one that posted the question..

Thank u everyone for your help... I did think about his wife and kid but thought about him more.. I just wanted him to b happy.. i figured if it made him happy to b with me it should b his choice..

I am going to leave it to him.. I cant chose who i love but i CAN choose what i do about it..

so I have decided not to meet him alone..not to make out anymore..

if he is really unhappy with his wife and wants to b with me he will do something about it..

But i cant stop being his friend..will b thr if he needs me..

Thank u once again for responding..

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A female reader, Lemonpixie United States +, writes (2 November 2006):

Lemonpixie agony auntThis guy is a bum!!! Obviously there is no future... so why is he manipulating you by saying he loves you? Just get out of that situation. He's a creep... even if he did leave his wife to be with you he would end up cheating on you... and you seem like a sweet person don't let this go on, it will only weigh on your concience.

Please by all means don't let yourself get caught up in a situation like this again... its difficult for any man to respect a woman willing enough to sleep with him when they know he's married and with kids!!!! If he is willing to cheat, is it so hard to fathom he is willing to lie? He's obviously already lying to his wife, so why would you be any different? I would suggest exposing him at work and to his wife, but if shes just had a child it probably isnt the best thing so just get out of their before he manipulates you again

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006):

When will a woman like you ever learn. This type of behavior

from a married man has been going on for centuries.What made you think you was unique? Trust me you won't be the last woman duped by another married man. What does concern me about women like you is that don't you think about the wife and children, obviously not. You just think about replacing them. No, you won't get anthing from this guy but you sure are giving him what he wants.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2006):

What a creep...you need to get yourself some counselling to help you realize that your 'love for him is based on a lie....

If I were you I would ring his poor wife and tell her...she deserves better than to be married to this creep.

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A female reader, blackcoffee +, writes (1 November 2006):

How many times should women be burned before they learn that a married man belongs to his wife. He will say anything to get an easy lay but he is still not yours. If he does not 'connect' with her he should get a divorce. And you missy have learned the hard way not to mess with someones man. At least he told you from the start that it would not work, alarm bells should have started ringing loud and clear. This man loves his wife and you were just a hobby he developed. Men do cheat when the wife is expecting. Pity you decided to be the fall girl.

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A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (1 November 2006):

eddie agony auntWhy would be honest and respectful to you...you're the other cheater, you're not even married to him. You're staus is the same as the cjick he meets. You get nothing but left overs and any spare time he decides to give you. Funny he's not that close to his wife, but, he didn't mind getting her pregnant. Open your eyes.

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