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female
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend and I have a great open relationship. It's open because we're experimenting with the whole lesbian thing. We share the shame interests and values. When we met we made a pact that we would wait to have sex with each other as well as with other people until we were ready to committ as life partners, (and if it turned out that we liked men more)or until we got married to the men of our dreams. She recently went to visit a friend (guy) and they had sex. She never told me about it and I would not have known, until last week when she sent him an email and in the middle of the message quickly left to do something else. I wanted to mail my mother and stumbled onto the message. We never laid any rules with our pact so I can't really be mad, and I can't ask her about it because then she'll accuse me of snooping. I want her to tell me about it, because we share everything, and I mean everything. How can I subtly persuade her to talk to me about it? I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed that she doesn't think that she can talk to me about it. Oh ya, the guy is coming to visit us in September. How am I suppose to act, because he doesn't know about me and her? And how am I suppose to act around them, knowing very well what they did?
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female
reader, Eva +, writes (26 July 2005):
You have every right in being upset that she wont talk. If it is an open relationship that you have agreed with then you really cannot be mad at her. Is there a possibility that she could like men more?! If so then why dont you talk to her about this and see how she feels. Perhaps if she did then you could talk about it and even remain friends. You could also try getting yourself out there to meet new people as well. Good Luck!
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