A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, hope some of you can help settle my mind on a certain situation. I'm involved with a guy who lives long distance, of whom is coming to spend the weekend with me within the next 2-3 weeks. We're really close and share almost everything with each other, but there's something he's keeping from me and I'm a bit concerned/upset about it. I'd text him yesterday morning asking how he is - to which he would usually reply straight away ..but he didn't. It wasn't until late evening that he finally got back to me, saying 'Hey, sorry for late reply I'm ok well not really but can't get into it just now, I'll tell you later xxxx' to which I replied that I hope its nothing too serious and that I'm always there for him if he needs to talk, etc. Then he replied 'Don't be worrying and I appreciate that sweetheart, cheers! xxxx' A couple of hours later, he got in contact with me again (via text) and just made general conversation. Obviously I still wanted to know what was wrong so I asked if he was any better, as a way of getting him to open up to me, but all I got was 'gonna have to be lol'. So I thought, he might just not want to tell anyone about it which is fair enough! But then I looked on his facebook profile to see his status as 'I owe some of you folks a massive Thank you'. I realised from this that he'd told a few of his mates, and I just felt my stomach drop. Hopefully I'm over-thinking here, but why couldn't he tell me what was going on? He knows how understanding and caring I am. It was only a few days ago he said 'you're my rock and I don't know what I'd do without you! I love you so much!'. I'm just feeling a bit excluded and unappreciated that I offered him my support and he chose not to accept it. I have strong feelings for him, so I feel rather hurt. Also, last night he was quite offish (which is understandable if he's unhappy about something) and then he just suddenly stopped texting me after midnight without even saying goodnight. Am I over-reacting?Any replies are much appreciated x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, OhGetReal  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 "I am involved with a guy who lives long distance and is coming to see me in a couple of weeks:
No where in this sentence does it say that you are in a committed relationship with him, just that you think you are quite close.
A guy who is in love won't text you period, he will call you when he wants to talk to you. His not answering your sincere question is his way of playing head games with you.
You aren't in a relationship at all are you? You just think you are because you think you aren in love.
Long distance relationships don't work, the guy isn't taking you seriously and he is telling you a little of what you want to hear, like he loves you thrown around like he kleenex...a guy will do or say anything to get laid.
In a word, you are a long distance booty call.
It's your choice, but why are you putting all your eggs in this basket, there are plenty of nice guys who live right in your own town.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): Maybe he's setting up a surprise for you? =] He's obviously very in love with you. Don't worry so much. I'm sure he'll tell you eventually.
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A
male
reader, ndurante +, writes (22 January 2011):
Yes u are over reacting. if u are sooooo interested in this than id ask he friends what he did. HES NOT HAVING AN AFFFAIR. just calm down. when he gets there i would reccomend that you sit down and have a cup of tea and talk about it. good luck!
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A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (22 January 2011):
 hi
sounds like you text more than you speak on the phone is that right? just ring him and have a chat, bring it up, he might open up to you about it if you are talking, rather than text you about it, if its a bit of a long story.
you may or may not be over reacting, but i wouldn't worry that he didn't text you good night, maybe he fell asleep or you didn't receive his text or he hadn't received your previous one. so yeah, it does sound like you are starting to 'over-think' now.
how long have you known him?
xx
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