A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear cupidI'm married for 5 years, not from the same country as my husband. My parents live in different country, I have no friends and no family here my husband treats me v badly, yells at me for tiny things or get irritated at me for small things. Like my English is not good. I am not expressing myself clearly, not putting shoes on while going to garage from home to tell him something or contradicting him when he blames me on stuff. I have to say 'ok' or 'yes' irrespective of how I feel. If I don't want to give blowjob when he not showered or stinks it's a problem, if I don't watch the shows he wants to watch with enthusiasm it's a 0roblem, he never watches what I want, I stopped asking for anything from him. He left at my home today because I contradicted him on something and screamed at him because I could not take it anymore. I never screamed at him before, this is the first time, in my defense I was angry at me from.morning for no reason and then when we going out , I contradicted when he said something and he stopped car middle of road in 50 miles/hr road and almost caused an accident and I got pissed off and screamed, and I dropped me at home and said not to txt or call him. Don't know when he will come home and he said he wanted divorce. In my culture divorce is bad and that too 2nd time. My first marriage ended up badly and I also made a mistake marrying him. I know it's over, I know I don't love him or even like him anymore, I know he doesn't either. What should I do not, my parents won't accept me back home, since I am failure thanks for reading long postNote- he took my car , I am stuck at home which is middle of nowhere i.e no Uber or Lyft, do cannot go anywhere, other than sit at home and cry and be sorry for myself
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2022): P.S.
If he doesn't bring your car back, call the police and file a report that your car was stolen; and emphasize the fact it was taken without your permission. If he becomes mean and threatening, call the police and file a complaint that you were threatened. If he doesn't feel there are any consequences to shouting and intimidating you; he knows you're scared of him, and I guarantee he will get a lot worse than he is already. Consult an attorney ASAP!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2022): Your spouse has requested a divorce, and the reason he is treating you badly is to make it clear to you that he wants out of your marriage.
"You" are not a failure, your marriage didn't work. Unfortunately, it is possible to marry the wrong person more than once. Maybe the problem could be that you either fall for a man too quickly; or you marry because you need someone to take care of you. In some cultures, parents pressure their children to marry to have grandchildren with no regard for the fact it takes time to find a good match. They push and push, only because of tradition; and the fact that's what their overbearing old-school traditional parents did. This is the 21st-century, not ancient times. In some cultures, sometimes parents select a good mate for their children, and sometimes they don't. In any case, the prearrangement is set; then the couple is forced into marriage. A marriage sometimes bound by old-time taboo, or religious doctrine to stay married no matter how terrible it is. This is awful in cases of spousal-abuse or serial cheating. God hates divorce; but does not require anyone to stay married to an adulterer, or to a violent and viciously abusive person.
If he treats you badly, your one and only option is to give him the divorce he asked for. Get yourself an attorney, to make sure you receive everything the law entitles you to. You may be entitled to alimony, have your attorney's fees paid, and you will have to be sure he doesn't deny you your share of assets and any property you jointly own. If he threatens you, or physically attacks you; you must call the police. You'll be wasting their time; if you call the police, but file no charges of domestic abuse. He will only get worse; so don't pick fights, or allow him to do you any physical harm. If things get too heated, and you feel threatened; call the police for your own safety. You might need to find a place to stay with a friend or family member, when the atmosphere in your home is too hostile.
I recommend you learn how to support and take care of yourself; so you won't have to marry someone to take care of you. Don't be so quick to accept a marriage-proposal without knowing a man's true-nature, his character, and how he handles his temper. If you label yourself a loser or a failure, you will lower your standards; and give yourself to any old kind of man. If you don't value yourself, and depend on validation and approval from men to make you feel you're worth something; you will always end-up with men like the two men you've married.
Never put yourself down, everybody makes mistakes....everybody!!! If you've been a rebellious teenager, and never listened to your parents when they tried to teach you what kind of guys to stay away from; this backs-up all they've been trying to tell you. You're old enough now to let them talk, give them respect; but do what you want to do. You're not a child anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2022): testing
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (6 July 2022):
 I am sorry that you are going through this, it must be very difficult being in a foreign land and feel like you have no-where to go.
I know you say that your family won't accept you, but have you at least tried to talk to them and let them know what is going on. Or is there anyone in your family, or friends that you could confide in. You really should not feel like you have to go through this alone.
The next thing is I would obtain some information on where you stand from a legal perspective and getting a divorce. I feel that you should do this sooner rather than later and don't tell him that you are doing this.
If pointless staying in this marriage as the love has gone and its not healthy for you to stay.
Seek legal advice on getting a divorce and seeking alternative accomodation.
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