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female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: Got very very drunk no I should'nt but I did went home and started on my husband about him text and phoning this girl, he said it started because I made him feel worthless and unloved, I asked him if it stoped coz I found out and he said no he stopped before it went any further ( I am crying while I tpye this coz it really hurts) He says he is sorry and he knows how much he hurt me but I dont feel any better he says I dont need to no who she was but I do I can not think off anything else what happens next time I get drunk the only thing I regret about getting drunk is that I did it in front off the kids and I didnt whant then to no,I sit here all day on the computer trying to find out who she, you might think I am being daft but anyone who this has happened to will understand can anyone help me please my head is going to explode
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): What was going on in your relationship that caused you to act and say things to him that made him feel worthless? If something about him bugged you to that extent, surely it would have been better to talk about it - but without getting angry, or accusing or blaming him! Depends on what it was, too - if something he was DOING (unpleasant or inconsiderate behavior) that's one thing.
Whatever it was, as Martin says, he talked on the phone to someone who could make him feel better about himself. He has apologized to you and told you he stopped talking to this other girl before it went anywhere. Why don't you accept his apology, acknowledge the part YOU played in making him feel worthless and unloved, and let it go?
What is the point in trying to find out who the girl was that he called and texted? This will only lead to more trouble if you keep poking around like this! Additionally, you might want to think twice about "getting drunk" again.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2006): You might not want to hear this, but the problem possibly stemmed from you making him feel worthless, and that he desired you to see him as someone who is not worthless. Since you continued to see him as a worthless being from his PoV, he sought elsewhere for what was/is lacking in his relationship with you.
Now you feel sad and that you feel like he took out a part of his heart and gave it to someone else right? Well, before you over-react to his past reactions, first you have to put it into perspective. The possible cause of this pain you're feeling came from your lack of consideration for him, and feeling that he somehow emotionally cheated on you. FIRSTLY, step back and really think about this. Did he in fact cheated on you? Did he do anything dishonorable to cause you pain? Are you over-reacting to this supposed treachery?
Seriously now, sometimes the tad bit of unneeded curiosity can cause a huge strain on matters not that big and not that bad. Understand?
I suggest that you two work on OPEN COMMUNICATION, and forget about him texting another woman.
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