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My husband is wearing me down soooo much... help!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 May 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 1 June 2010)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

See I've been married two years and my husband tells me I'm a dog that should be put down, or I should drown in a tub, awful wife. We fight a lot and maybe that's my fault but I wouldn't fight with him if he wouldn't back me in a corner. How so he worked for a cab compony before we met. But the one thing he told me is when he was with his first he worked for a cab and there was a female driver he use to buy her things and he liked her and he would follow her and I just think it's wrong so yes because of that it is partly why I don't trust him, the other part is he would come home with a fishy crouch, scatches on his back, sholders, butt and and when he would get a call he would say it's a wrong number but then take the phone in the bathroom. Also he would say I have a mental illness or I have a personality disorder which I don't. But what I do have is depression, ptsd because of my childhood. Help!

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A male reader, Kama New Zealand +, writes (1 June 2010):

Kama agony auntGet a counselor for sure. If he doesn't like it, get a restraining order. It doesn't sound like you two communicate well, but if you do, and if you think it's even worth it, talk to him about your feelings. If he doesn't respect and listen to your feelings, I would do everything on the list that CaringGuy said, and "now." No one deserves to be ignored and abused like that, not you, not anyone.

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A female reader, heaven= United States +, writes (1 June 2010):

well ithink that this guy may be doing what you think he's doing the best the thing to do would to gwt a divorce if he really is how you say he is..

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010):

Take whatever steps you need to so that you can get out of this relationship ASAP. Start saving your money and make a plan and then bolt... he's not worth another day of your time, but you may need more time to plan.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2010):

I think your depression has led you to make bad judgements about this man. I think your depression has also affected your self esteem to the point where this man is now walking over you and putting you down because he has control. That can change right now if you are willing to do what is necessary. Whether you are depends on you. Look at the facts. This husband of yours is a man who says you're a dog and puts you down, or that you should drown. That's not just bad, that's horrific. No man on earth who loves his wife would treat her that way. No way. I'm afraid also it's very clear that he's cheated over and over again. There is a huge amount of proof.

The problem is that he has used your own depression against you. Now he has you under his control. In this, I'd not even say anything. I'd just get a divorce. Now. Don't waste another moment of your life with this miserable, pretty evil man. You may have depression, but that's no reason not to get away from him. And you can. Get yourself a lawyer, get a counsellor, and get a divorce. Now.

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