A
female
age
41-50,
*ima
writes:Hello everybody, My problem today is that my husband is very busy with his job since 3 weeks and he comes back home very tired and doesn't talk to me like before.He just eats his dinner, has a look at the TV for one hour and then goes to sleep. So we don't have sex together, it's just once a week.We used to have sex 4 times a week but now it's different. So what can I do to change this situation? Also i can't find any subject i can talk to him about, can anyone help please! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tigerlily  +, writes (15 November 2008):
Your husband has been busy with his job for 3 weeks and comes home exhausted? Well honey that's just life sometimes. Have you ever gone through a period of your life where there was just so much going on you came home completely wiped out? Be patient, be supportive... stop worrying about your sex life.. my goodness you are having sex 4x a week wow good for you... and even exhausted you still have it 1x a week? Nice. There are people out there who haven't had sex in years. Cut the guy a break. He's working hard to take care of you and it sounds like he's mentally and physically exhausted.
How would you want to be treated if that was you? Just be patient and give your husband his space and rest. You are married for life this is just a few weeks.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): You need to understand that in the times of recession when jobs are at stake,people have to work doubly hard to keep their jobs.
He is probably so tired that he can't see black from white.He sees the TV because when you are dead tired you don't feel like talking to anyone.
Men are not confrontational like us.But they pick up vibes better than us.He is picking up the vibe from you that you are not happy about his long working hours.He is scared of a confrontation.So he is trying to avoid you.From your post I very much doubt if he is having an affair.
Now how do you change this situation?Unconditional love is the key.When he comes back from office give him a glass of water,hug and kiss-not necessarily in that order.
How ever tempted you are do not blame him and lay a guilt trip on him.Men go into a shell when we do that.It would take another month for him to open up his mouth again.
Lay out his dinner.Sit Next to him.Smile and be happy that you are with him.You don't have to talk anything.Hold his hands,keep it on your cheek.Run your hands through his hair.I am sorry I am not a very expressive person.You would probably know more ways to show your love with out words.
When unconditional love is given it is definitely returned at some point or other.Ask him about his day.When he sees you are not in a mood to fight he will open up and share his worries with you.He feels light.When you go to sleep instead of pressuring him for sex just hug him and express that you will always be there for him,come hell or high water.
Remember when people say they are tired more than the physical exhaustion its the mental exhaustion that is unbearable.Win him over emotionally and he would never be tired for sex.
Regarding subjects to talk about,become a listener first.The subjects to talk about follow in line.
All the best dear ,from one wife to another.
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