A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've had to change names in this for anonymity reasons.My husband is worried about opening the mail after receiving mail addressed to him that he didn't order; not one, but three.He received a package last Monday; he was expecting it to be an item he'd ordered off eBay, parts for our garden machinery. However, it wasn't that inside the cardboard box.He received a sports bra/athletics crop top and running briefs (both black-colored) from some woman named Jessica who said "Send me a photo and/or video of you wearing them for my social media channel where I'm a camgirl... you asked for my worn underwear, and I'm always happy to give it to my fans. Jessica x".The thing is... my husband has no interest in social media or camgirls, and his online presence has no crossover with that, he runs a Github/Bitbucket with website templates and PHP scripts, with bugfixes etc. and the audience for that obviously won't be the same.I don't think Github is social media, is it? I don't think most people would consider Github in the same light as Instagram or TikTok, would they? (I have to know social media as I work in marketing/PR).Who would write to a camgirl/influencer, ask for her used underwear and then get a reply, and why would they do it in my husband's name?As it is, my husband hadn't even heard of this camgirl until now.He runs an eBay business and Github, and is a freelance software maintenance/hardware engineer.He also received two other unsettling pieces of mail; the second one was $5,000 in cash and a note saying "Buy yourself a treat... John xxx" and a picture of a topless guy in swim shorts - a selfie, basically.The final piece of mail he received that was quite worrying for him was a demand from a supermarket for eating packets of potato chips in-store, not paying for them and to pay restitution for them; but we've never been to the one in question (it's not even in our state; he's never even been to Ohio in his life).I'm wondering if this is some sort of scam going on here, and I've no reason to distrust him.He told me he's wondering if he's the victim of identity theft, and if so, how did they get his identity (especially as his online footprint is so minimal; yes his Github and Bitbucket are in his real name, but there's no personal information on there).This situation here is one where there's no conflict between either of us, but one where we don't know who did it and why.He did try going to the police, but they said it's not worth their time investigating unless things get any worse and they probably wouldn't know who's doing it anyway, and that it's probably a civil issue not criminal.What should we do about things?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2021): If you receive any more mail like this you should just take it to the police and let them dispose of it and put a note on their file. Especially if you receive money in the post. It’s very strange but indeed sounds like some sort of identity scam. Contact your bank and tell them what’s going on, perhaps they can change your bank details. If you rent you could perhaps also move to a new address when your lease is up. Change all your passwords on your accounts etc.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2021): Stores have video cameras all over them. If they know his name and address, why didn't they just report him to the police for not paying for the merchandise? Demanding payment in a letter for potato chips to someone in another state is ridiculous! I'd go as far as to say it's an insult to your intelligence.
Who are you supposed to send your payment to for the potato chip debacle? Give them a call from the police station. Maybe the store can explain this nonsense; and you'll know exactly who sent you that stupid letter. Ask them how they know your husband and where they got his address?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 March 2021): Madam, your husband isn't being totally upfront and honest with you. What did you do with the $5k in cash by the way?
I sense a bit of naivete here, or perhaps some measure of denial. Nobody just sends that amount of cash through the mail to the wrong address!!! These things keep cropping-up at your address. I smell something funny going-on, and I don't think there's a scam necessarily behind it. You can always search and discover the origin of a package; it at least has a stamp and postal code that will tell you the state of origin. A considerably large package should have a return address on it.
That nonsense about paying a store for merchandise he consumed seems silly; and purposely devised to throw you off to seem as though the previous packages were scams.
They just so happen to know your home address, and didn't notify the police as any business would have, or they could have stopped him before he even left the premises!
I think your husband has some explaining to do, and he's covering his tracks.
Judging by all your online purchasing and interaction you've described, neither of you seem to lack knowledge in conducting business online. I find it odd you have no clue what to do?
Did you notify your local police or the postmaster? If not, why not?
I'm pretty sure the police can figure it out; if there is a prankster or scam going-on.
If your husband discourages you from seeking their involvement, there's your possible culprit!
It all concerns your husband. If you know how to buy or sell on eBay, and you know how to do all sorts of business transactions over the internet; being a software engineer, he should know how to protect your identity, personal account information, and secure your devices better than anybody. Someone is pulling the wool over your eyes!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2021): Hi
Somebody is living a double life!!!
It can not be a fluke that he received 5 grand by error, you don't even get 10 pence by errors.
Have either of you got an enemy?
Identity theft, small possibility, but they take money not give it.
Obviously you can not accuse your husband without proof and this would be unfair and cause so much trouble, however prepare your mind for some shocks and revelations at some point from your husband. Just remember the truth often comes knocking.
Don't let it turn your character into a paranoid crazed wife.
Be alert on guard if you want to know.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (10 March 2021):
 Check your credit card statements and a full bank statement. For BOTH of you.
That way you can see if the money was taken out of your finances.
If HE didn't PAY for this, then someone has his personal information. If the package had HIS name and his address then it wasn't a mistake.
I think your bank statements would be an easy way to see IF he possibly could do this.
Scam? I don't know. He received a package that HE might not have paid for, so what scam could that be?
Practical Joke? Well, could be he has a friend who did this as a practical joke. But... he could know that. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a joke, right?
So, personally? I'd go through all bank statements and see what turns up.
And I can see why the Police said this is not something they can sort out.
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A
male
reader, kenny  + ♥, writes (10 March 2021):
 It does not sound like a scam to me, scammer's normally want to extract personal information from you in order to take money from you.
Its rather strange to me that he has received some quite extravagant gifts, being sports gear, and a substantial amount of money, in cash.
Who sends cash through the post these days?. and the amount you mentioned would be quite a bulk of cash as well, a huge risk sending in the post. All sounds rather odd to me.
Check your back statements to see if there are any unusual transactions there.
Certainly something weirds going on, not sure if its on your husbands part, or something else. Which ever it is this does require further investigation.
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