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My husband continues to abuse me, emotionally and physically!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 August 2008) 8 Answers - (Newest, 26 August 2009)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

I am in a situation that I seem to not be able to get out. My husband continues to abuse me emotionally and physically. I have no trade or money to get out of this situation. No matter what, he continues to cheat, and when he gets caught and I say something about it, he gets frustrated and takes it out on me. It's like I want to stay in this but I don't. I have no money and I have no where to go...

friend

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A female reader, lilly001 Australia +, writes (26 August 2009):

Hi Babe I know exactly what ur going through, as I am in the same situation, sometimes i find it easier giving peole advice rather than taking it myself. Ive bin in my relationship 15yrs and 85% of that time has bin nothing but HELL, but hey im still in it and i dont even understand why. U tend to feel hopeless and lost, like your worth nothing and that nobody would want you, thats how they make us feel am i correct. Honey i feel for u i really do, If you have family that you are close to or even friends, or someone that is willing to stand with you or by you then i really think you should confide in someone before its to late, Unfortunatly i dont have anyone like that-that i can turn to or talk to about my situation, cause if i did then i would find that it would be easier to leave him without feeling like im worthless.

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A female reader, mimimarquez United Kingdom +, writes (15 August 2008):

mimimarquez agony auntokay, you gotta get out-NOW. but leave a note or something so he knows you've left him.

1: go to a good friends

2: go to family

3: call an abuse hotline

good luck...sending you hope

xxx mimi

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

hi everyone I want to get something straight when I said my husband abuse me physically I was saying that he stress me out so bad that it is causing me to have physical problems, like high blood pressure and headaches. I have tried to work this marriage out but now I know it's time to get out with me and my children. I going to take that leap of faith and leave with nothing because now I have realized that this man don't have no respect or love for me. He just cares about himself and what he wants.

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A female reader, earthchick430 United States +, writes (14 August 2008):

Get out now! If he physically abuses you, he'll eventually end up killing you whether it's from the stress and punishment your body is taking and the combination of the mental abuse or hurting you so bad one day you sustain life threatening injuries. He's *not* the only one for you. You need to escape and seek police protection! He need to be in jail, it will NEVER get better. The police can and WILL help you. Please get out of there! Walk, run, you may not have the means but you have feet. Get out while you can! You're not living your life, you have no life there! You still have a chance sweetie. Please get out asap!

My fiance's mother went through this and she got out. Do not waste any time! When he leaves, grab the essentials you need and clothes on your back and go, go, go! He won't know where to find you if you can get the police to help you! His threats will be no good. Please darling, get out. I'm extremely concerned for you even though I do not know you. I beg you to please leave for your own life! Let the police handle him and prison. You can find love again, he doesn't love you, he just loves hurting, abusing and controlling. It will *never* get better even if for a day he miraculously goes without harming you, that's not things getting better.

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A female reader, earthchick430 United States +, writes (14 August 2008):

Get out now! If he physically abuses you, he'll eventually end up killing you whether it's from the stress and punishment your body is taking and the combination of the mental abuse or hurting you so bad one day you sustain life threatening injuries. He's *not* the only one for you. You need to escape and seek police protection! He need to be in jail, it will NEVER get better. The police can and WILL help you. Please get out of there! Walk, run, you may not have the means but you have feet. Get out while you can! You're not living your life, you have no life there! You still have a chance sweetie. Please get out asap!

My fiance's mother went through this and she got out. Do not waste any time! When he leaves, grab the essentials you need and clothes on your back and go, go, go! He won't know where to find you if you can get the police to help you! His threats will be no good. Please darling, get out. I'm extremely concerned for you even though I do not know you. I beg you to please leave for your own life! Let the police handle him and prison. You can find love again, he doesn't love you, he just loves hurting, abusing and controlling. It will *never* get better even if for a day he miraculously goes without harming you, that's not things getting better.

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A male reader, robertb123 United States +, writes (14 August 2008):

I have not been married,but if my memory serves me right when you and your husband married there was a statement to each other to LOVE, HONOR, CHERISH, until death do us part. My reply here is not to find fault,and so I wish to say this; whether you come from a religious path or one of love based on respect,your husband and you have a relationship that need serious attention. You my be in a cycle of abuse or neglect, and in order for your relationship to continue both of you need to be willing to be open honest and able to be flexible and above all else hear what the other partner is saying non judgementialy. Above all else is you safety! I know there are millions of other women in this position,and there is help,seek until you find that support. Start in you home town and or find crisis support its out there. You have the right by birth to be happy safe and loved. I send my blessing in and for you peace.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 August 2008):

you should get family or friends to help or even call the police because men like that like the feeling of power over others, and will probably do it to others, you feel like you love him, and that may be true but you shouldn't have to go through that you are a human being and you deserve a man that will love you, not cheat and will treat you with the respect that you know in your heart you want and deserve, get out of there as fast as you can,

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (14 August 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntThere are organizations that can help you get out of this abusive relationship and provide support for you to move ahead with your life. I suggest contacting this crisis number/website for a referral to a local women's shelter and advice as to how to plan your escape from him.

National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Phone 1-800-799-SAFE (1-800-799-7233).

Website http://www.ndvh.org.

I hope that you are able to get the help you need and deserve. Good luck and take care.

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