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female
,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend spends a lot of time on the phone with my husband and at my house with my husband when I'm not home. I know they discuss her bad marriage and sex. I told both of them I'm upset and want it to stop. Now they're upset with me and think I'm being crazy. Is it normal for my husband and my girlfriend to have such a close relationship? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (16 March 2006):
 There is definitely something odd here.
I agree with the other postings there.
The other odd thing is that when you mentioned it, they both ganged up on you and got upset.
I think that you need to talk to your husband in a calm way and say that he is allowed to speak to whoever he wants but you want him to know that this makes you uncomfortable.
Then I think you need to talk to your friend and tell her that the whole friendship between her and your husband is making your home life uncomfortable.
If your friend is simply friends with your husband, she should have enough respect for you to cease this relationship.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 Rule number one. You shouldn't really spend too much time with members of the opposite sex talking about really private stuff. He's taking over your spot as a shoulder to cry on etc. Next she will start to look up to him and his qualities and then it' all downhill. It might never end up that way but it often does.
They claim innocence because they want to carry on. If they can pretend it's innocent they can carry on with a clear conscious. Even if they have had thoughts of just, they can deny them and tell themselves they are above that kind of behaviour. Everybody thinks theya re above it until that one time they give in to temptation.
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 Honey, this isn't normal whatsoever and you should definitely not let this go on much longer. There is absolutely no reason why they need to spend so much time together, let alone talking about these inappropriate situations that she could talk to you about, especially if she's supposed to be YOUR friend.
I would let her know that you're not crazy and this is not right. Tell your husband you don't approve of this and she should not be spending time with him when you are not around.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2006): This is definitly a problem. Take it from me because I was that girl who regretly fooled around with my friend's boyfriend. I think the best thing for you to do is to talk to them together. If they play you off as if you are crazy and discredit your concern then there is probably something going on between them. Make it very clear to both of them that you will be gone from their lifes if they do not stop. Ask them if this is worth your firendship and marriage. If something is going on between them the is little you can do to stop it. It is unfortunate because everyone is hurt in the end.
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A
female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (16 March 2006):
 This should be stopped now. It is a slef fulfilling prophecey and I think something will happen if you dont put your foot down. Why does she need to discuss this stuff with you husband and not you? You are her friend!
Tell him that it stops and then cut the friendahip with her right down. Dont let this carry on. Protect your marriage.
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