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My heart is well and truly broken.. and it doesn't get better ....

Tagged as: Breaking up<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (17 February 2011) 1 Answers - (Newest, 17 February 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, *ashiongirl9 writes:

How can i get over this broken heart.. its been over 3months and i am still in pieces.

i was with my girlfriend for ovre fourn a hlf years. we met at college, were in the same class . we became so close like best friends. i told her everything, we did everything together- she was the most amaing person i had ever met. we both got accepted for uni and we moved to london where we again studied together and lived together. it was an amazing time, we got on so well. after we graduated i got offered a job back home so we both decided to move back home because of my job. we ddnt get a flat right away as we decided we wanted to go on a 5* holiday with all our friends as we felt we both deserved it adter a gruelling final year at uni. coming home posed many problems. we wernt seeing each other as much. both living back at our parents tmeporarily and living separarte lives and we kept arguing about it. my gf got a job working in a shop and her behaviour started to change, she all of a sudden wanted to go out all the time, i was never invited to work nights and o felt really left out. she was nt showing me much attention. but in my head i just kept thinkin it wil b ok when we ' buy' our flat in 2011 (which we planned to do) . unfortunately one night my gf went out one day and never came home. she didnt answer her phone and stayed out all night. ignoring my calls /texts. the next day she said she wanted space. so i gave her the space because i wanted to prove i could do anythign for her no matter how hard that was for me to not contact her.from speaking to someone a million times a day to nothing is so hard i did and 5 days later - the night before my bday she told me it was over. devastated doesnt even come close to how i felt. on my bday i recieved a text , no call , no visit. nothing. i had a feeling she was seeing someone else as this was so out of character and the way she had been acting was so out of nature. the night afer my bday i had a feeling ( i dont know why) that she would be with this girl from her work in a bar in town. and sure enough they were togethr. this girl from her work was the only gay girl that she worked with. she denied everythign of course but still continued to ignore me , ignore my calls , she even deleted her facebook.Totally treating me like i have never existed to her. now 3months down the line she only finally admitted to me last week she is seeing the girl from her work. she hasnt spoken to me at all really since we split. iv had to turn up at her bus stop last week just to speak to her as she has totally ignored me throughout the whole thing. the way she spoke to me at the bus stop was so cold and insensitive. i just dont understand. we were so good together, the couple everyone envied the couple who were so perfect. how could she do this to us , to me ? i am still in pieces. i cant bare the thought of her with someone else , i cant deal with the way she has treated me. its like she hates me, its like iv never existed. when i have spoken to her which has been only 3 times in 3months she has just said she doesnt want to speak to me, she has nothing to say to me and wants nothing to do with me. i am so fucking hurt. i cant understand this change in her personality. this is so out of character!

how can she do this to me. iv stood by her through so much in our relationship with regards to her family ( so many issues with her being gay ) . Iv helped her stop being bulimic. evrything i helped her through, stood by her. even my family paid for our flat in london for us to live in whilst we studied at uni , she became part of my friends circle, they loved her too . how can she do this to me. how can i just let let her walk out of my life? how can i let this other girl steal her away from me ? i was even in a car accident and after i got home from hosp i text her and the next day she just wrote bac k with sorry to hear abut that hope ur ok, new year new start without me. i mean how can she be liek this ? is this a human ? whats the psychology behind her acting like this ?

i cant live like this anymore i feel like i am slowly becoming more depressed everyday. i still cry everyday. i miss her terribly. i just miss the person that i know. this person she has become is nothing like the person i was with for over four years. i jsut dont know what to do? i cant shake this feeling off. she is all i think about. i go out with my friends , im out evvery weeknd, iv bought loads of new clothes , died my hair - even been away on holiday and NOTHING helps. i just feel so lost without her. i just cnat understand why she doesnt have any feeling for how she has treated me. she actually doesnt care. i just dont know what to do anymore .. it doesnt go away its eating me up! i just cant let go ...

View related questions: best friend, depressed, facebook, on holiday, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2011):

Sometimes relationships end badly and painfully. This has happened to you. It is very tough. You have to go through a sort of grieving process in order to get back to some sort of normality. In some ways it is easier to totally cut someone out of your life - maybe that is why she is acting the way she is.

Time will help - but everything is raw for now. Try not to mule over and over what happened as it will change nothing. You just have to accept what happened and go through a time of being kind to yourself. There is no magic bullet for heartache sadly but believe that you will get over it.

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