A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:please advise me. whats wrong with me. ive been in floods of tears all day because a guy i work with is moving to another department. we were close friends to start and towards the end we had some silly rows but today finally cleared the air. ive helped him every step of the way and to be honest im seriously gutted hes going. he says we'll stay in touch but even writing now im in tears. ive been weepy all day because im gonna miss him terribly what should i do ? I adore him but because of things in my past like a debt management programme-thanks to my grasping ex. i dont want him knowing about my past. hes also got history with children and his wife leaving a year ago-theyre now divorced but we got on so well together and he made me feel good about myself for the first time in a long time.im seriously gutted and im in floods of tears what shall i do ?
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female
reader, amariane  +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Hi there. I think you may be feeling a bit alone at the moment but seriously, you like this guy for a reason. He speaks to your soul. His leaving may have nothing to do with you in case that's what you fear. Maybe you could try and get some time alone with him before he leaves to see if your relationship (which means, the two of you together as a whole) is flexible enough to make the switch from a work relationship to a personal one. If you get closer you might tell him about your past but it seems to me that's not the main issue now. What's happening is about the two of you. How you react when he's around. What he does and how he says things around you. It seems to me there is some possibility for a relationship. The window may not be wide but it is there. What shall you do? Send him and email and ask him out for lunch before he goes, or if you feel brave enough for drinks and dinner after work. Then tell him you're afraid of him leaving. That you don't like it. That you want to see him again. Don't overdo it, just tell him sweetly. His response whether verbal or emotional will give you some clues on his feelings about you. Maybe it is too early to tell, but do try to see him alone (yes, you can do it!) then take it from there.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): its not the lat time you will ever see him arrange to meet up for coffe and stuff, getting to know someone out side of work can help.just because you both have a past shouldnt stop you everyone as baggage
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