A
female
age
30-35,
*akkyD
writes:My man isn't satisfied with me ontop ... I've done all the tips from cosmopolitan and different sites. Still he seems unsatisfied ...its so bad to where when I see his unhappiness I get sick of trying and walk out the room...I feel less of a woman. I asked my x about it he said he loved it when I was ontop...so why doesn't my man? Nothing works... help!!! I desperatly need advice because if I can't get it right my relationship is at risk :( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2012): Here are some realities:1. Ask him what he wants you to do. Maybe he doesn't want you on top. My girlfriend on top does not excite me. She's not good at it. She bobs up and down on me instead of grinding herself on me. She doesn't get off and it does nothing for me either. I don't care that she sucks at that, though, because I love taking her from behind. You are still very much a woman even if you can't perform that position to his liking.2. As above, I find that most women are pretty bad at sex. For that matter, so are most men. Women talk about men being poor lovers, but men rarely talk about this, because to a guy any sex is good sex, but be a willing, active, and communicative partner. 3. I don't really think you should be asking your ex- if he liked having sex with you. I find that sort of talk inappropriate. He's probably trying to get back into your pants and as your boyfriend I would be angry and insulted if I found out you discussed our sex life with an ex. I might even leave you over it.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (25 January 2012):
 you see his unhappiness? have you asked him why he's unhappy?
and everyone else is right if this is a deal breaker for the relationship then it's not a great relationship.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (25 January 2012):
I also agree. If your relationship is seriously at risk because of a problem like this, then you need to ask yourself whether it's really suitable. Because this is a relatively minor problem, compared to the ones that you'll face as a couple later on.
Also, you seem to think that maybe men are made to order. You've been onto a load of sites, you've asked an ex, and because of that you think that your boyfriend should like it, or you're doing something wrong. Maybe he's just different, and he doesn't like that position. Maybe he finds it uncomfortable. Maybe he even has a slight back problem or something.
You seem to be getting into a real mess over something that, in the grand scheme of things, means nothing. Either you'll just have to accept he doesn't like that position, or maybe you really need to break up and just move on.
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A
female
reader, shrodingerscat +, writes (25 January 2012):
 Um...so, don't be on top anymore?
If he doesn't like it, why focus on it? Why be committed to only one sexual position?
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A
female
reader, YakkyD +, writes (25 January 2012):
YakkyD is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYour right it really shouldn't be that serious ... :(
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2012): I think what puts your relationship more at risk is not that he feels unsatisfied in this ONE position, but the way you're turning it into an even bigger problem by making your self worth tied up into it so that with so much at stake (namely your self esteem) you're driving yourself crazy.your reaction is blown out of proportion and will cause problems in the relationship. It looks like your bf hasn't said anything negative to you about his unsatisfaction in this position, and you don't say anything about him being unsatisfied in other positions so I assume he's satisfied in other positions. So what if he isn't satisfied in this one? he hasn't made it into your problem, instead you pick up on his lack of satisfaction and then just quit and leave the room??? WTF??? That is so rude, inconsiderate, uncaring, unloving, and all because you have an insecurity complex.if he's not satisfied in this ONE position, then for goodness sake don't go making your entire relationship revolve around it and bet your self worth on it. Do other positions that he likes and use this one just for warm up or not at all. it's not that big a deal, but you're making it into one because you're insecure, and that is what is going to put your relationship at risk because of the way you're being so rude to him when you should be making love to him instead.
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