A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok heres my problem.. about a year or so ago my girlfriend just stopped liking sex out of nowhere, and not just intercourse either, at the same time she stopped liking giving and/or receiving oral sex and weve talked about it and neither of us know why, since then weve tried having sex several times, sometimes it ends with her being upset and on the verge of crying and other times she shows no emotion at all, since about a year ago shes only had one orgasm, on new years eve, and it was only because i was fingering her, she seems to like giving hand jobs and being fingered sometimes but she said that when we try to have sex she just feels nothing and its not fun for her and if im on top of her (she likes to be the one on top when we try) she said she feels like shes being violated even tho she knows shes not.. and whats worse is that sometimes she gets mad that i want to have sex, as if i can control my urges, van anyone help us? please? i dont understan whats going on! and also, shes on birth controll and claims that the b/c is not the cause of her lack of libido, also she wont talk to a doctor about this bacause "she doesnt want her mom to know we have sex" so, please help me, its starting to hurt our relationship because of all the sexual frustration and tension on my part
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2007): I say give her some space for a little while.If that doesnt work i saw on the news theres a new disorder found, lack of sex drive. Look it up, i forget whats it called, maybe she has that?
A
male
reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (18 February 2007):
 My advice would be to give her some room. If she's feeling violated, something is wrong. Maybe something from her past? Maybe she has religious and/or moral convictions that she feels are being compromised? If she's doing something she really doesn't want to do, then I'd allow her that option. It's her decision. You might encourange her to see a therapist just to get to the source of the issue. You need to be supportive and not pressuring.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, Thomas17  +, writes (18 February 2007):
 first things first, is she having any from of stress, sickness or the like? very unusual in my opinion. maybe you could take her to a psychologist or something. good luck
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