A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hai my girlfriend and i have being dating for 3 years and wants to have sex, well am a virgin i am 23 and want to wait till we get married, am so commited to her, but recently found out she has being sleeping with some guy at her office she said it happend once and loves me. I feel i deserve better,should i forgive her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Abass Abassi  +, writes (20 February 2011):
Never ever forgive her. find someone who really deserves u. why marry with a woman who doenst respect u and ur feelings. u know what, cheaters can never be guarentied and the reason is that they have already cheated and there is no guarenti they won't cheat in future.
2nd important thing is that, u can never ever get this thing out of ur mind (she slept with other guy), eventhough she wont cheat onwards but u will always bring it in ur mind and that will be teasing u. it will depress u mentally and psycologically ver badly.
u r a very good guy, have a sacred belief of not having sex before marriage knot, but she is someone who has no believes on such. this relationship is only a disaster. never accept her ur life partner.
best of luck.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 February 2011):
I would agree with the post below completely.
You and this girl seem to have totally different beliefs and values when it comes to sex.
You are a virgin and want to wait for marriage.
She isn't a virgin, didn't want to wait and cheated.
Realistically, you are two totally different people. She wasn't able to commit to you, and can't just expect you to forgive. I also don't think you really want to forgive - I think your mind is made up that you deserve someone who isn't a cheat (good for you).
I think you would do better to meet a woman who has the same beliefs and values as you do with regards to sex and relationships. You have no commitments with this girl, no children, no nothing. You can end it with her, move on and find someone else with little hassle. I think you might be better doing that than trying to forgive a girl who doesn't share your values.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): She went ahead and had the sex as a punishment for you because she couldn't wait. Maybe it fair that you two shouldn't be together. From her side she may love the heck out of you but feels undesired as a woman. It's honorable that you want to wait until you're married but how long is that?. These are your values not hers, so unless you're getting married soon I suggest you probably let her go. The trust has been wrecked anyway. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (20 February 2011):
 The issue is more than just forgiveness.
The bigger issue is that each of you VALUES sex differently.
As long as the two of you have different values, a long term relationship will not work out.
Whether it happened once or many times, look at the values BEHIND the actions.
It might be a good idea to consider finding and committing to someone that has the same values regarding sex. This woman might not be that woman.
-Frank
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A
male
reader, epicureansage +, writes (20 February 2011):
Yeah...it happenend once that you know about. Did she confess this, or did she get caught? In any case, you'll be bitter if you save yourself for someone who didn't hold up their part of the obligation. If you stay, be prepaired for this to haunt you in the future.
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A
male
reader, popeye_loves-cuspi +, writes (20 February 2011):
I'm am sorry that you are going through being cheated on, it is gutting in a way you never though possible huh
Look, you want to wait for sex, she obviously didn't, nor did she consider you when she was with this guy, she happily slept with him knowing you could find out, and knowing what it would do to you. As far as i am concerned, once a cheat, they always will with you. Find a girl that not only loves you, but will always be true to you. Walk away and find that girl, she is not that one!
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