A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello everyone I'm not sure how common is this question but can you be in love with someone and yet have no physical attraction to your partner?I ask this because that's what my girlfriend says about me. I know I'm not the greatest looking guy but she says she has no physical or sexual attraction for me normally I wouldn't care because she says she loves me but she finds other guys attractive and basically thinks about having sex with them. She says she's joking but it's making me lose my trust in her and I can't ask her about it or about anything because she gets annoyed whenever I tell her anything about what I approve or don't approve of her doing Any advice and is that even possible? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (22 March 2012):
 What Caring Guy said.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): Its more I have fallen out of being romantically, smitten, head over heels in love with you and love you like a brother or sexless friend type of love.
The lust and romantic love has ended.
Time to end it for good. Heal, move on.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012): No she's not in love with you. She may love you as a platonic friend or as a brother-type figure, but she's not In Love with you in the romantic relationship sense. If she were, she would find you physically attractive too.
she's just saying she is either because she doesn't know what it means to be in love versus to "just" care about someone as a platonic friend (not saying there's no value in platonic love, it's extremely valuable, just different or because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings so she's just playing along hoping you will be the one to end the relationship first.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 March 2012):
Hate to tell you this, but she doesn't love you. You're just the man she's with until the next one comes along.
Move on from this one, she's not worth the bother.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (22 March 2012):
 If you are in love with someone it does not matter if they are Quasimodo you will think they are the hottest thing since sliced bread.
I’m 52 and I look it. My fiancé is a geeky looking 38. When we STARTED our fling (it was not a romance at first but more of a FWB/NSA thing) there was NO LOVE and we both said “you’re not my type; I don’t find you attractive” yada yada yada (our brain chemistry was very strong however) and then slowly over time it changed….
Now nearly 18 months later we are not FWB but engaged and if you ask him he will tell you I’m hot and sexy and beautiful…. NONE of the words he would have used to describe me 14 months ago… and me, well I look at him and while I see the flaws, they are endearing parts of him and I just want to love on him like crazy…. And while I still find other men attractive and he still looks at other women, we know we come home to each other and love each other.
I think life is too short to stay with someone who does not love you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Why waste your time with this girl who cares so little about you that she will carry on as you describe??????
Dump her and look around for a REAL "girlfriend..." You can do MUCH better....
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (22 March 2012):
 Sorry but no, it is not possible to have REAL love for someone but not be attracted to them.
If your girlfriend claims to love you then she doesnt know what love is, because love goes hand in hand with physical attraction, sexual desire, lust, passion....all that kind of stuff.
It sounds to me like you are just a stop-gap for your girlfriend, she is only with you until something better comes along.
A relationship cannot work if there is no physical attraction, because it means eventually sex will stop. She has already started looking at other men and lusting after them, it is inevitable that one day she will either cheat or leave you for a guy she does fancy.
Sorry to say this but this relationship is not going to last and you deserve better - just because you are not the best looking guy in the world doesnt mean that no girls will ever fancy you! There will be plenty of girls out there who think you are attractive and would love to be with you, and that is the sort of girl you deserve - not some awful girl who is eyeing up other men all the time and neglecting her boyfriend.
It is up to you what you do next, but you cant force your girlfriend into being attracted to you - so in my opinion the best thing you can do is end the relationship and move on, before she does cheat or leave you for another guy.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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