A
male
age
30-35,
*hebunny
writes:My girlfriend of almost 2 years just broke up with me. She said that she loved me more like a brother than a boyfriend. She keeps saying that anything can happen and if we're meant to be together we'll be together. But she doesn't want to try to fix it, she just wants to wait. I still love her more than ever, she means the world to me, and I know she's the one I was created to be with. But lately I've been thinking of the last couple days we had together. She was talking about how a lot of the girls in her family married someone from the military,and her sister just recently started dating a marine. She said it seemed like their destiny. Well a couple days before that, she started talking to one of her ex-boyfriends who is currently in the army, they had broken up because he was moving away to join. I'm beginning to think, since she is kinda impressionable, she thinks that she should date someone from the military. She is trying to keep me as a friend afterward, which is really hard to do, because one person usually ends up hurt, and that person appears to be me on this occasion. It appears as though she is trying to move on without me. And one theory I came up with is that maybe she wanted to keep me close to her, because she still has feelings for me, and so I'll still be there if she gets rejected, or it doesn't work out. I'm really confused, and it's tearing me apart inside, and I don't know how much more I can take. Please if anyone can tell me what they think, or give me some advice, anything.
View related questions:
broke up, her ex, military, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2009): my friend, you are sadly mistaken if you consider your gf as an angel and as innocent as you make her out to be in your above post. First of all, from experience i have learnt girls don't breakup like the way we guys do, when we want to end things we really want to end things full stop, but girls they still want to keep contact sothat they can comeback if things don't work out as they planned or for the lack of a better option. this is a sad truth and generally no woman will ever accept this but this is true. its upto you if you want to be your ex's option or find a new girl and be her priority. I see also from your post that you are suffering from the very same experience all of us men suffer from after being dumped, when our mind starts playing games with us. blame it on all the stupid movies or whatever but one thing is clear she doesn't care about you or your feelings and she is not going to ever comeback for you she may comeback for herself. The question you need to ask yourself is do you really need such a selfish self centered female in your life? This is a harsh truth which you should take it as a man. Start trying to move on immediately, don't wait for her or anything. Even if you don't try moving on now at one point in time or another you will still move on without even knowing it and you will regret the time you wasted chasing this lost cause. Remember nobody is as important for you as yourself, you have to value yourself the most in order to get others to value you, experiences like these are really hard on ones self esteem, therefore take care of yourself and forget her she isn't worth it.
A
female
reader, femalespicolli +, writes (9 August 2009):
 It sounds to me like she has feelings for you, but realizes how young you two are, and doesn't know exactly WHAT she wants out of life yet. She tells you that if it's meant to be, then you will be together in the future. So basically, she's making you wait until *she* is ready.
That's definitely not fair. If she doesn't call you or try to communicate with you, I would do the same thing that she is doing. See other people and date around, but don't contact her. It just makes it harder..(Plus, ignoring her will drive her crazy and she may just come running back to you. Girls always want what they can't have.)
I know that she seems like she is your "soulmate" right now, but trust me...
I have been in this EXACT situation, but I was the one doing the breaking up. And now, I am with a man who treats me ten times better than my ex did, and we both changed a lot. You and you ex will change too, for the better, so don't wait around! Go experience your youth! 3
...............................
A
male
reader, raven100  +, writes (8 August 2009):
Hi,the first thing which comes to my mind is very obvious one. I know, it hurts but SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE. yep man, im so sure of that. My exgirlfriend didn't love me, so we enden this. I was shocked but the truth is just so powerfull. Ask her: do you love me? but you know. The person who loves us cares for us, love without care, without thinking about another person feelings is just a mistake.In illusion.Forget about her, just forget. Don't meet with her as long as you can. You are a man, non just a pussy. Don't wait for het. She will not be respecting you. Women like strong guys, just strong guys with balls. This is my advice. If you want to get her back, show her you are strong, you have a passion, have dreams, and follow your dreams! Do you know why she broke up? i think that she stopped to admire you, she stopped to be fascinated. She needs strong guy, she just believes that guys from the army are strong. This is why she wants it. Anyway you are a man. Just be a man. Women have to be fascinated. This is so simple. It's not important how good you gonna be for her. It's not important in long term relationships. It's all about fascination and all about similar sensibility. What i can tell you looking at my relationships there were always big differences. I was looking for emotional women, i have never had this kind of women. But i know i'm gonna meet her soon. I'm sure know.Now i'm gonna look at her, ask her about her rules, about her model of relationship. I know, it's allways a risk. but without the risk there is no fun:)taka care, and don't try to be weak, I believe you are a strong man!R.
...............................
A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (8 August 2009):
I think she does sound impressionable. But she also sounds like maybe she's unsure of what she wants right now. I know how hard it can be to walk away, especially when emotions are involved and the other party doesn't want to try and fix whatever happened. But remaining friends can be even harder and you already know why. If she won't talk about it or try to fix it, then there really isn't much you can do. I'd give her some space, some time to figure out what it is she's looking for. But she is correct; set her free, if the comes back it was meant to be.
all the best!
...............................
A
female
reader, Love is all you need  +, writes (8 August 2009):
 yes, there is still hope for ya. your 18-21 its not like yar in yar 40's you maybe just need to see other people for the time being and then maybe you'll both realise your the one's for each other or maybe you'll go out with someone and find you like them better. hope that helps just don't get yar hopes up....xxx
...............................
|
