A
male
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend doesn't ever want me to go to her work parties. We have another one of her work parties coming up and she always tries to think of a reason why I can't go such as I don't know her work friends. In the past I have always made sure I did go and have got to know her work friends really well, I even play football, poker etc with some of the boys. She has another work party this weekend and she said immediately that I can't come because I am not sociable enough.Usually I make sure that I do go by making her feel guilty but now I feel like it may be the wrong idea and I should give her some space? I have already made her feel guilty and she has now said she wants me to come but I don't know wether I should go or not? And I don't know what her reasons are. She loves spending time with me and never leaves me alone any other night. Do you think I am being insecure and should give her space or that her behaviour is suspicious?
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female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (21 April 2008):
 I know it's not great propaganda for an Agony Aunt site, but noone can really tell you what you're girlfriend is likely to think other than her.
Talk to her, ask her if she's having second thoughts about you.
I tend to leave my husband out of my professional life, these days, because he doesn't like Opera, so I'd rather he didn't come to the shows. It's possible your girlfriend just needs some space or maybe she's jelous that you're better friends with her collegues than she is!
Then again, she might fancy someone at work.
Again, talking to her and possibly her collegues you know might help!
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 I can think of two reasons why she does not want you to go.
First reason being that she could be insecure and afraid that you maybe hijacked by the other females .
Second reason being that , if you are there, she may not feel free to enjoy with the other male attentions.
Maybe , she likes a lady's nite out and have more fun when you are not present....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your answers. Regarding her work friends it is her current work friends that I do get on with really well, which is why I have no idea why she says I won't socialise. I understand what you mean about healthy to socialise separately and I am happy to do so but my main concern is that she doesn't want me to be there because of something going on with some one at work. I did say straight away I will go out with my friends if you don't want me to be there and within a day or so she had paid for my ticket. But again I can't help wondering if she doesn't want to look too obvious about not wanting me to go to make me more suspicious. the basic question is...do you think she doesn't want me to go because there is something she doesn't want me to see? or because she just wants a night out by herself? And i understand what Gabe is saying I would never say she couldn't come somewhere because she is not sociable so I am worried about how she thinks of me if she can say somethin like that.
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A
female
reader, Annalisa + ♥, writes (21 April 2008):
Hi! You say you became quite close to her collegues before, has she changed job? Could it be that she feels you might embarrasse her in any way?
I think you need a more detailed explanation for not being wanted to join her. Encourage her to be honest and tell you how you're unsociable. You could discuss a compromise, but it might just be a good idea to just say "Fine, I'll have a boys night out, then!"
It can be healthy for a couple to socialise separately, occasionally.
God bless you and good luck!
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A
male
reader, gabriel Alam  +, writes (21 April 2008):
 hi i'm gabe hope u'll accept my reply.look dude everything is based on truth. and if this dosen't exist love hardly can do anything. so in order to complete love you both need to trust each other and tell the truth. that what said the wise man inside me but my own heart says: you let her tell you your not sociable???? how she defines sociable anyway???? did anyone plant that thought in her head or that's the way she thinks?? does she even love you cause love means being proud of you in front of everyone and especially in front herself. from what you said she dosen't. i'm not telling you to leave her cause i don't know the full story but i can say to you this: this subject need to be discussed immediatly. just put it on table and hardly this time even if it might lead to a big fight. you're the person she loves - you're the best for her. and if she doesn't see it this way then you need to change your life line dude. hope i wasn't rude with my way of speach. you need to step out right now .................... sincerly gabe
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