A
male
age
26-29,
*oushite
writes:Ok so my girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years now. About a year ago while we were still dating my best friend ( a girl) Hun out at her house and things got carried away. I touched up on her and touched her private areas a little bit. My best friend didn't let me get to far but let me because she had feelings for me and so did i.. My feelings for her were fading but that day it all came back. We both kept it a secret and couple months later my feelings for my friend went away. Eventually I started feeling tremendous guilt and ended up tellin my gf about the whole thin and she was devastated. Even though it was a good amount of time since I did it she cannot forgive me at all. We still are dating but she doesn't trust me at all. Now she wants me to not talk to my friend and cut ties with her. It is extremely hard because she hangs out with all my other friends too so it's going to be awkward plus we been friends for 5 years now. My gf is basically making me choose between her or my friend and I don't want to choose at all. I want to keep both of them. Is there any help I can receive like tips or ways to make things good again? Ty
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): You're obviously still a kid. Don't have a relationship if you can't handle one. It's understandable that she would want you to cut ties with her so try your best to do so. If you are with your friends and she happens to be there then let your girlfriend know. A relationship is built off trust. Try to gain it back.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2012): Ive made my fiancee choose between "friends" hed had, because of various online affairs. Sent and recieved nude pix told them hot they were ect ect. He chose me but on two occassions i was ready to walk. Ive sworn if he does it again ill leave. If you really want to have ur bff then tell ur gf and shell leave, if youd rather have ur gf cut ties w ur friend. You could have had both, but you cheated on ur gf w ur bff so now you have to choose. You brought it on yourself, its not something she did to you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (10 September 2012):
 FRIENDS I HAD made me choose... us or him (the man I am marrying)... to me it was a no brainer... you never go with the person that is making you choose.
IN your girlfriend's case, however I can see why she is making the demand.
it does NOT matter how long ago you cheated. YOU CHEATED....
I'd not be happy with my man having a friend who he wanted to be sexual with while he was with me... OUCH... let him go to her... I'd have kicked you to the curb... apology or not...
She has every right to NOT trust you.
you lied
you cheated
and now you disrespect her needs with "I WANT..."
well honey we can't always get what we want ya know...
so you have to choose....
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A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (10 September 2012):
 When I saw the title of this post I already had my answer ready to go. A good partner wont make you choose! Then I read your post, and now I understand why she's making you.
You've cheated on her with your best friend. Not only that, but you hid it from her for a year! Of course she doesn't trust you or want you around the girl you cheated on her with. If it was just a random girl you had fooled around with, not a long time friend, would you still find your girlfriend ridiculous for telling you not to see her? I doubt it.
The point is, if you have any interest in continuing this relationship, you have to cut ties with your friend. Your relationship with her simply isn't platonic, and it's an understandable threat to your girlfriend because of what happened between you two.
The reason she's having a hard time forgiving you is partly to do with how much time you let pass without telling her. That's a year you hid it from her. A year she assumed you had been faithful the whole time. A year of hanging out with this girl, and with you, not knowing what had happened.
So... once again, if you want this to work you will cut ties with your friend. If the situation was reversed, I am 100% sure you wouldn't be comfortable with your girlfriend continuing to see the guy she cheated on you with, so why can't the same be understandable for your girlfriend?
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