A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'll try and be brief. My girlfriend met this guy (I'll say Matt) at a house party a couple of months ago - introduced to her through a friend (I'll say Chris). They met up as a group, since Chris began to take an interest with her friend. Whilst this was happening, Matt began to try it on with my girlfriend. Although she insisted that she was in a relationship, and ignored his attempts at flirting, he still tried it on. I expressed that since she didn't really like him as a friend anyway, that I didn't understand why she was talking to him, considering his intentions. My insecurity was made worse by the fact that I was away. Following an argument involving himself and someone else, they stopped meeting up and their conversations stopped for a while. Now I'm back, they are beginning to talk again and he's continuing to flirt. I've again expressed that I don't understand why they talk, and though I would never tell her to stop talking to someone and realise that it puts her in a difficult position, I feel very uncomfortable. I'm also expected to meet with him on their outings, where he repeatedly tries to touch her and flirt with her. Anytime I get irritated or moody about something that he does it starts an argument, though I'm not sure how I'm expected to act? What's the best way to respond to this?
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female
reader, babalou  +, writes (30 January 2013):
 To add to llifton's response, do your best to not feel bad if she does try to manipulate you even further by blaming it on you 'insecurities', even though anyone would feel uncomfortable and annoyed in this situation. She may also accuse you of being controlling, which I'm sure I can be backed up when I say that's not true at all.
Ask her how she would feel in your shoes, if a girl that liked you did the same and vice versa.
A
female
reader, llifton  +, writes (25 January 2013):
 if i were you, i'd be pretty annoyed. i think it's extremely disrespectful for her to talk to this guy that clearly likes her and act like that's not shady at all. it crosses the line of trust and it's completely uncalled for. It's manipulative of her to expect you to be okay with this. you have every right to draw the line, and when you do, she makes you feel guilty for it. she's turning it around on you for feeling uncomfortable about something you have every right to be uncomfortable with. i would absolutely put my foot down. i'd tell her either he goes or you go. and that would be that. because if she wants to stay friends with this dude, she can have him.
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