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My girlfriend experiences pain when we are fooling around, will sex be even worse for her? Is there anything I can do to help?

Tagged as: Health, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 June 2011) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 June 2011)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

When I finger my gf, I don't actually finger her I just rub her clit, because she is so tight it hurts her to go in even a little, she seems to feel pain the second my finger starts to enter.

Also, I recently gave her oral for the first time. I had looked at some tips online so I wouldn't be a fool the first time round, and things went pretty good. Only, one more time she was too tight to slip my tongue into without hurting her.

So I have two questions:

Should I try and probe my tongue in little bits at a time when I eat her out to "stretch" her, so she won't be as sensitive?

And when someday we have sex, is she going to be in a world of hurt? Could we prevent it? We don't plan to have sex for a good long while, but when we do I don't want it to be horrible for her. :/

View related questions: too tight

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for responding, I appreciate it! I know to some degree she is nervous due to an irrational fear of pregnancy. (It really is irrational, we haven't had sex or even been naked together but she still worries about sex.) I think I will have a talk with her if that is making her too nervous, or if she is also nervous for other reasons that you mentioned.

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A female reader, Anastasia Trinidad and Tobago +, writes (2 June 2011):

Anastasia agony auntHi Canada,

I am getting the feeling that your girlfriend is not ready to have sex yet. I am not a doctor or anything but I cannot imagine a 17 year old girl being so tight that a finger causes her pain. I am sure that by now she uses tampons....so it could very well be that she just isn't ready. Talk to her, see how she feels and ask her if she really wants to try this, let her know that it is okay if she wants to take things slow for a bit. If a girl or even a grown woman is nervous or tense, sex can be the most excrutiating experience ever, so SHE needs to be ready...we know you are but it is also important that she is as well. Don't push her into something that she isn't ready for ....sit and chat with her, let her know that it is cool if she want to just fiddle around. My idea would be ...if you guys are comfortable doing this....have her masturbate....and get comfortable fingering herself....that way she won't be scared or tense. But the Most Important piece of advice I can give, is talk to her...

Good Luck

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