A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:seriously i dont get what is wrong with my girlfriend when we first had sex i realised she was crying slowly as we were at it...since then anytime i sleep with her in the same bed she gets nightmares and also cries like she does when we are having sex even after we are finished she just turns the other side of the bed and sobs quietly and when i asked her she said its nothing and she changes the topic,,or when am carresing her and am not looking at her she is crying slowly surely i want to help her how can i Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Your girlfriend has something that causes her to be sorrowful and upset when you are physically intimate, either in bed together or having sex. This sounds like she's experienced some sort of sexual trauma, an assault, a rape or abuse.
The best thing you can do is stop this sort of contact until she is able to go find professional help. Be emotionally supportive, let her know you care for her but do not expect her to tell you what happened. Don't force her to tell you as this could feel attacking or abusive to her.
Ask her to think about why she's upset and suggest gently and lovingly that you want for her to have help to get over whatever it is that is making her cry. Find a counselor for her to make that easier.
Read up on how to help rape/abuse victims and don't expect this to be easy or comfortable for her.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 Maybe she's been raped. How do you engage in sexual activity with her if she cries? Do you stop when she cries? Does she cry when you kiss her and touch her, aside from sex?
Stop having sex with her and start talking to her. Figure out what's going on and don't back down until you get an answer. Don't have sex with her until you get an answer. My guess is she's been sexually assaulted in the past and is having flashbacks. That, or maybe you're physically hurting her while having sex and she's too afraid to tell you to stop.
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A
female
reader, totallyconfused100  +, writes (13 January 2012):
 I would stop having sex with her. Clearly she has some problem with it. Maybe she was abused sexually or just doesn`t like it. I would sit her down and ask her about it and not have sex until she tells you as it`s just making her upset.
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