A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my gf have been together for 7 months have have decided that on saturday night when i stop over that we will have sex for the first time, we are both virgins btw. We are incredibly close as we have been best friends for many years, have have slept together before (only slept). On staurday we'll be getting the house all to our selves for the whole night and have rented afew dvds out to watch. None of us are the candle lit dinner kind but we want to make this a night to remember. We ere discussing where to have sex as well and our basic idea was her bed obviously but wondered what other places would be good but comfortable for her. Any suggestions?Also how can we make it more comfortable for her, we know we can't avoid the pain totally but want to limit it as much as possible. Do you know anything that would help.We have condoms sorted and are totally comfortable with doing this, she is 16 i'm 17 btw and we are both in the same yr at college. I've dreamed for yrs even when we weren't together of the night i lost my virginity to her. I want tis to be the best ever can you help me. Alos do you know how long first time sex should last for?I don't know whether to keep it in once its in or take it out and let her get over the pain first before going back in. (sorry if thats a bit graphic, it's just that I would really like to know)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Lots of girl thoughts so here's a guy one, I do agree with what the girls have said. The other things I'd say is maybe get some practice in of using a condom as they can be so tricky and quite a passion killer. It can be incredibly hard maintaining an erection if you have trouble putting on a condom, but it's easily solved by trying it out on yourself first. Maybe stick to the missionary position for your first time and if you take things slowly you will be able to see if there is any discomfort from your girlfriend as there is likely to be some. Penetrative sex is likely to last from anything from a couple of seconds to a few minutes, you'll probably find the feeling of being inside her completely overwhelming and uncontrollable but after that you'll get more control. Sex is something you definitely get better at the more you do so remember that, if there are any uncomfortable bits during your first time. It's so nice to hear you two are loosing it together though. It's such an intimate thing to do together for your first time and because you both care about each other you'll be able to go through it together.
A
female
reader, love-him +, writes (31 May 2007):
 First ov all thats great! you two seem like you are in 'love' and thats the best reason for havign first time sex. for the pain or how tight she will be, i would sugest lubricant.. for places (for first timers) bed, sofa, i dont realy think any others for first time because it will be a totaly new experience.. when you are doing it, make it slow and enjoyable because it will hurt more the faster and deeper you go.. if you get me? before you enter her, (graphic) make sure she is wet or use lube like i mentioned and maybe finger her to open her up (graphic) hope i helped and mail me if you wan 2 talk x x x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2007): Yes good advice, the other 2 agony aunt and uncle have covered everything also though one last tip maybe a bit of K.Y jelly or another lube(not baby oil as that is dangerous with condoms!), you could put on the condom before you go in, B.t.w its good that you are both so wise for your age,
Enjoy yourselfs, (and try not to have urealistic expectations though that will make you nervous)
:)
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A
female
reader, Choconut +, writes (31 May 2007):
 Wow, its nice to hear some mature people! YAY!!.. id say most of all enjoy it. The wetter she is in the beginning the less it will hurt and hopefully more relaxed she wil be. one thing i must stress is dont rush!!!!!! dont just go straight for the intercourse because "sex" is so much more, especially for the woman. A lot of foreplay, touching, dry sex, fingering? Maybe even oral?? this definatly gets many women extremly wet but its quite a big step in itself so dont worry if you dont want to do that.
Make sure if one of you wants to stop you do.. You have forever to have sex so just make sure you enjoy it! and make sure your having fun too babe. good luck!
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A
female
reader, whiskey_cowgurl  +, writes (31 May 2007):
someone could write i textbook on how to go about your first time... but it would just give you a general idea because everyone is different.
I won't lie and say she won't feel any pain, because she might. and i also won'd lie and say she will feel loads of pain, because she might not... like i said, it all depends because everyone is different.
what it all comes down to is when the time comes, you will know what you should and shouldn't do. chances are you're all freaked out right now because it is both of yours first time and you want to make it something special. i assure you it will be, as it sounds like you both love each other very much.
the other aunts and uncles have given some good advice, and i don't think there much more i can say really... other than try not to stress over it too much, it's still supposed to be fun
best of luck, whiskey
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A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (31 May 2007):
 Congratulations on finding the right person. Take things slowly. Make sure to get the right protection. What you do is based on what she communicates to you. Don't be nervous, just enjoy each others' presence, and make sure to satisfy her first.
DV1
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (31 May 2007):
 Okay, first thing is a big congrats on getting some condoms. That's an excellent show of respect and maturity to have sex.
As far as where to have sex, I would stick to the bed for the first few times just until you get a bit confident with it. Being under the covers can lessen insecurities about things until you get confident about it all. After you've had sex a few times you can do it wherever really!
Penetration during sex generally lasts for about 5 minutes (although I'm sure you'll get notes from guys who say they can last longer) Because its your first time, it's unlikely you'll last the whole five. Don't beat yourself up about this. It's an excellent excuse to practise. Sex from start to finish with foreplay etc generally lasts more like 20-30mins.
As for making it less painful for her, make sure she's really turned on before you try to enter her. If you're worried about this ask her to help herself. You can try stretching her a little with a few fingers but make sure you have short, blunt, clean fingernails. That might sound obvious but you'd be surprised how many guys don't do this! As for the actual act of sex it depends a lot on her pain threshold and how it's going. In general I would say that unless she asks you to pull out stay inside but stop moving until she adjusts to the feeling. It's very strange the first time. However, it's possible that she'll find it too painful and ask you to pull out until she's more turned on. Don't worry about this. Just take your time and both stay as relaxed and possible and good luck!
Just one last thing... condoms are great but it might be a good idea if your girlfriend goes on the pill too since condoms aren't 100% effective on their own.
CD
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