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My girlfriend accused me of cheating while she went off to a club with another man

Tagged as: Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 February 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2010)
A age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was late to meet my girl. I fell asleep on the recliner, as it happens. She was convinced I was off with some other woman. No lie. I talked her down from that for over 2 hours or so of patient painstaking work, then she revealed something to me..

She went to the club we had planned to go to with a guy. She says he is just a friend and was very boring and she did not dance with him, or do anything with him, and there I was, just trying to process this.

I told her that bothered me, and she said, really? And I was like..yeah, shouldn't it? I'm late to meeting you and you assume the absolute worst.. What if I was actually at a club with a woman, I would never hear the end of it! In fact, you would probably break up with me.

Then she starts apologizing saying she will never do it again. That she wasn't thinking about it like that.

Do you think she was dancing with this guy? Kissin on him maybe? I feel like she pulls these stunts to see if I care. Which, I do, but I'm not gonna beg her like all her past boyfriends have. I'm with her, they are not. So my way is the better one.

What would you do in my shoes? Search for friendlier less bomb ridden relationships? Keep holdin on and try to work on this? Guidance please

View related questions: her past

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Ok so general opinion is she didn't do anything, or for me give her time? Ok, that's what my reaction was too but all this doubt she level at me makes me doubt her sometimes.

Aunty - My phone was turned off. Battery dead. She tried to call she says. No messages though.

Yarou- I would ask the guy, but its just some guy. She didn't give me a name and I don't know whether I know him. I will ask her who she went with today. She treats me good, usually, except when she in a mood. Like a King even. That's what I like about her, she's so attentive.

CaringGuy- Hmm, about boyfriends of the past, I'ma get to that a bit. But yeah she was very angry with me when I finally found her last night. Talking about did I have a good time tonight. Knee Jerk reaction is a good way to put it.

quiet-echo- The only indication I've given her like that is how we first hooked up. See, she had a bf at the time, a begging, suicidal type. He threatened to kill himself if she left him and stalked her and etc. I, had a gf, but my gf at that time had a secret bf on the side (or maybe I was the secret?), so that's what had me even talking to other girls back then. I'm honest and faithful if I get the same in return. So me and my current girl met each other, and sort of just stole each other from our respective bf and gf, if that makes sense. Drama galore from that but that's another story..

But yes, she must think I'm out talking to girls, like how I met her... And it just isn't true.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (28 February 2010):

I doubt she probably did do anything. It was probably more of a knee jerk reaction to make sure you're not late again. i.e. she wanted you to feel this way. Clearly if she has done this to other boyfriend in the past, then I would be worried. But you don't mention that. I'd say she was probably annoyed you were late, and just was angry. I don't think anything happened.

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A female reader, Yarou Lebanon +, writes (28 February 2010):

Yarou agony auntwell i would wait and see,

it depends how she treats you.

if you think that she treats another guy better than you then there is something going on right there, if you think that she is lying you have to have some proof in your hands and that will take some time but if you are sure you want to do it you have to search for proofs.

why don't you ask the guy with who she went with and ask him what happened. i'm sure he would tell the truth because i dont think he knows whats going on.

go ask him thats my advice,

i wish you luck :)

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A female reader, Aunty BimBim Australia +, writes (28 February 2010):

Aunty BimBim agony auntI don't know the girl, I don't know if she is the sort who would have been dancing or kissing or whatever. But if you believe she has done this to previous boyfriends just to get them begging she may well have been misbehavin'.

However, the fact she just assumed the worst from you and just up and went to the club with a different man is of some concern ~ how come she didn't try to phone or to make sure there wasnt something drastically wrong?

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