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My girl of 10 months as just told me shes coming off the pill and doesnt want sex any more ??

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Question - (29 July 2006) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 July 2006)
A male , *ohnny1988 writes:

I just recently had a problem with my girlfriend of ten months and its a problem i never expected to have. I just got back from a week long vacation and she told me close to the end of the day she was going off the pill and didnt want to have sex any more. It wouldnt bother me so much if i had a reason to why she wanted to do this, but when i ask her why she just tells me that she doesnt want to anymore. I am really confused and worried, but am willing to respect her wish, but i dont know if i should be worried and how long i should wait.

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A male reader, Muscles +, writes (30 July 2006):

I agree with the above comment ^

My girlfriend is on the pill and has been on the pill for over 5 months now. It could be medical reasons or it could be taking an effect on her life my giving her weight gain, mood swings or any of the other side effects etc etc. Read up on the side effects and find out if any of them could be relating to your girlfriend.

Whatever the reason it is likely she doesn't want too risk pregnancy, and does trust that you will respect her decision because you love her. Like someone said above, you're in love and you love and respect your girl if you can go a long while without sex. Sex isn't everything remember.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006):

I recently swore off sex for an indefinate period of time. The reason behind my choice was that I had so much on my mind and I needed to sort out all my emotions and I knew that continuing in sexual activities with my boyfriend would further complicate things. If you really love this girl trust that she has a good reason for doing this and if you still have doubts talk to her about it. I told my boyfriend about my decision and why and he completely supports me. Taking sex out of a relationship allows it to further grow on such a higher level.

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2006):

DrPsych agony auntI think there is probably something else going on in your relationship that perhaps you are not aware of at this present time. Basically she hasn't said she wants to end your relationship, just the sexual aspects. I totally understand that you have needs etc but perhaps if you give her some space for a little while (...a couple of weeks) then she may open up and communicate what is behind her sudden no-sex rule, or you may just drift apart. Either way there is little you can do at the moment to make this alright for both of you. It is obvious you think a lot of her so try to be patient - she maybe stressed out about something and will let you know about it once she is sure that you are sticking around despite the no-sex thing...i wish you luck :-)

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A male reader, johnny1988 +, writes (29 July 2006):

johnny1988 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank You for your responce, i know she hasnt been one the pill for long, three months, but it is still very distressing only because i enjoy having sex, and she also saying that we cannot have oral or any other form of intimate actions other than making out. I want to do this for her because i love her dearly, but i am worried that i will not be able to. I want to be with her, but its also important to me and my needs. How long do you beleive would be a fair waiting time for me?

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A female reader, DrPsych United Kingdom +, writes (29 July 2006):

DrPsych agony auntMaybe she is going off the pill for medical reasons that she is not willing to discuss with you at present. Having a break from the pill is sometimes recommended if she has been taking it for a while, or having some side-effects. She may not be rejecting you as such by saying no sex but just scared about getting pregnant. Or maybe she is testing the water with you about getting off the pill to try for a baby...maybe she is feeling insecure about your relationship. Only you can decide at the end of the day - why not respect her wishes for a while and then she may open up to the real reason underpinning her no-sex declaration. She may just want to know that you like her for more than just sex and testing you to see if you stick around or wander elsewhere.

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