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My girl is very loose, but I like it that way, problem is I cant stay hard, help!

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 February 2008) 12 Answers - (Newest, 21 December 2010)
A male Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

hello everyone,

I have a unique problem I believe. Let me say first I love my girlfriend and want to spend the rest of my life with her.

We have been going out for about 3 years now, and things are really serious, marriage is on the horizon.

My previous girlfriend had a very tight pussy, and I must be one of the rare men on this planet who prefer their pussies on the looser side. My penis would literally be bruised after we had sex (I'm not long but a bit thicker than normal ). My new girl and I were very open with each other from the gitgo and had no problems talking about past lovers, I told her about my ex's tight pussy and she said I wouldnt have this problem with her as her previous boyfriend had a large penis and she accomodated him easily.

For some reason the thought of her taking a big willy really turned me on ( another issue I'm sure needs to be addressed :) and I told her as much. Well the first time we had sex she showed me her vibrator beforehand - it was massive , she even measured it to show me how big it was: 9 inches and 7.5 around - she did this while sitting on the bed in lacy stockings then she put a bit of lube on the tip of it and it literally slid with no effort all the way inside her. I found this a huge turn on, but the problem is she knows how much it turns me on but when we come to have sex I can't feel a thing when I'm inside her, she is just too loose.

I dont know what to do, I've told her I get turned on by a loose pussy and she loves seeing me get turned on when she puts that huge vibrator inside her. But I've gotten to the stage where I start to go soft ( I literally cannot feel anything ) when we have sex and have to make up some excuse. She is the hottest girl I have ever met, she is a multiple orgasm queen and says she loves my dick. I can't turn round now and tell her her pussy is too loose, as I am the one who encourages her to make it like this, so what can I do?

I can't tell her to do kegels as that would mean I prefer her to be tighter - when I don't - oh dear, what a mess I'm in. Help!

View related questions: my ex, my penis, orgasm, vibrator

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A female reader, Cat2c2004 United States +, writes (21 December 2010):

Are you a drinker? Are you thinking to hard about staying hard?

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A male reader, sexking Canada +, writes (7 May 2010):

try mixing up the positions, have her lay on her back with her butt at the edge of the bed put her legs in the air and press them together, you stand on the floor and enter her that way. her legs will force the sides of her vagina in and give you the feeling you desire. good luck

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A male reader, twistedelm United States +, writes (18 April 2010):

My ex-wife had a loose pussy and I use to put my dick into her and I would put 2 fingers in with it. I am average in length but wider than normal in thickness. Her sisterr once came on to me wanting to give me a bj but I escaped the time. My wife thought she was the most lovely person on the planet--more like her out there. she had problems I didnt get. I wish you luck with your situation.

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A male reader, Annonn United States +, writes (30 October 2008):

I have a solution, and this will really turn you on:

slip a finger (or four) inside of her while you're having sex. This will take up space in her loose pussy, press your penis tighter against the bottom wall, and trust me she'll love it :)

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A female reader, Lavendre Jamaica +, writes (22 August 2008):

Lavendre agony auntYou need to tell her truth is always the best!! Let her know how your feeling. But i must say though u were most idiotic to think that u would like a loose cunt. I'm a virgin but my guy friends have never told me that they would love a girl with a loose cunt!! U must have been dreaming. Let your girl know that its killing you let her do the kegels if you want to keep her. As a girl talk to her about it when she's in a good mood and dont tell any of your friens about the situation. TELL THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION!!

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A female reader, Lavendre Jamaica +, writes (22 August 2008):

Lavendre agony auntYou need to tell her truth is always the best!! Let her know how your feeling. But i must say though u were most idiotic to think that u would like a loose cunt. I'm a virgin but my guy friends have never told me that they would love a girl with a loose cunt!! U must have been dreaming. Let your girl know that its killing you let her do the kegels if you want to keep her. As a girl talk to her about it when she's in a good mood and dont tell any of your friens about the situation. TELL THERE'S NO OTHER OPTION!!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2008):

slide your cock in along side her vibrator. I do this with my wife who also has a very loose pussy and she goes nuts and I cum in buckets as well because it feels so good. we have also had threesomes with a few guys and we always give her two cocks at once in her cunt and pump our sperm up her together which she just loves as well.

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A male reader, Pigster United Kingdom +, writes (5 March 2008):

Pigster agony auntNice 1 leonard! sounds like intimacy is the answer so dont worry bout size. Its all in the head (LOL), not to mention that a tight pussy may also have no feeling,most of the physical nerves in a pussy only go 3inch deep anyhow... thats why closeness/intimacy wins hands down! and if urr dick has no sensation then u must slow slow down with the thrusts

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2008):

Tell her to keep tensing and untensing her pelvic floor while you are inside her (the way you can sometimes stop yourself weeing mid-flow).

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (26 February 2008):

DoubleM agony aunt"Collaroy" offers excellent advice below, in that positioning is paramount, at least at times, and that the size of previous lovers or other insertions rarely has much to do with a lady's capacity, in my opinion. Many ladies may have birthed any number of eight or ten pound babies, yet remain relatively tight to the feel for penile insertion.

Does it loosen with age or children or other issues? Perhaps somewhat, but the vaginal capacity is primarily genetic in my opinion, and incredibly adaptable. Would you not agree? Considering the big babies and all? But I believe some gals are simply roomier by inheritance.

Regarding position, both many men and women erroneously believe that the lady should naturally spread her legs much more than actually necessary during coitus. In truth, she may hold her legs rather closely together during missionary position, which offers a somewhat tighter feeling for insertion, although a relatively ample erection may be needed to remain inside. Frequent fall out may occur, but keep a hand readily available to reinsert. She may help do that as well. Another thing is that a woman's orgasms may be more intense when her legs are closer together at that critical moment for her enjoyment.

It is difficult to describe in words, but for some five decades I have enjoyed occasionally pushing both of the female's legs downward and straight together, while moving my body upward toward her head for a few minutes. Place and push your hands firmly at about her pelvic joints and literally lift your body forward and upward, which should drive the erection at a dramatically increased angle into her vagina. It can help restore quite a bit more friction for as many strokes as may be needed to produce more feeling in a looser vagina. Try it! You may achieve something close to a 45 degree or greater angle of insertion and effecively increase penis head and shaft friction with her vaginal opening and her interior. It may help keep you up and going!

Sideway motions may also be effectively employed, and may also be useful during doggie-style positions if you have fairly good length.

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A male reader, Collaroy Australia +, writes (26 February 2008):

Collaroy agony auntHi there,

well you sure have got yourself a problem their buddy.

My wife is also shall we say roomy downstairs so we tend to use positions which make her pussy tighter. A good one is for her to lay on her side with her legs crossed, I then enter her and its quite tight and moreover even better it gives a wonderful view of her arse. Yowsa!

We always usually start off in the missionary at first as she is a bit tight when I first enter her, then after she comes she expands dramatically. So then we use the side position, or have her close her legs in the missionary position or doggy style. I find that i get over the lack of friction by enjoying the room available, I like to move my dick around inside her slowly in a swirling motion, she loves this. I also find that if you thrust too hard for a while then you lose all feeling, so I tend to swap between hard thrusting and taking it slowly.

At least you arent one of these guys who is obsessed with her previous lovers being well equiped. But I'm not a great believer that a large cock makes a girls pussy looser anyway, my previous girlfriend was a little tight but her boyfriend of 4 years before me was massive ( I played football with him and he was'nt shy about showing off his package in the changing rooms -who would, you should have seen it! )so judging by that she should have been very loose as well. So I wouldnt worry about the big dildo making her too loose, just focus on what is available, you said it already turns you on, so use it to your benefit.

Good luck.

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A male reader, leonard j. Douglas  +, writes (26 February 2008):

To be brief: Sex isn't about dicks or pussies, it about wanting to be with the other person,Yes, Regardless of gender preferences.There are lots of men/women who share their bodies sexually. B Don't rush out and wave your sexuality aroundut there is no love within the relationship,nor need there be. That a man or woman cannot enjoy an illicit affair outside of marriage is a bunch of Bull. In many cases it's the affair that fills a sexual need that isn't being met within the primary relationship. But don't rush out and wave your sexuality around, But do get to understand a woman's or a man's sexual anatomy and their sexual roles in Human Sexuality, and how to please each other,in or out of the bedroom.

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