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Scotty_uk
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for a year and a half and recently things havent seemed right. She spends a lot of time with a 'friend' but I have met the guy and don't trust him. A few days ago my girlfriend swapped sim cards in to my phone and her txt msgs from him were saved. One of which is him begging her to kiss him. I talked to her about it and she assured me she wud never do that. I basically said I was more annoyed that she didnt tell me. We recently had a conversation as she felt too young to commit, but after thinking, she chose me as she felt secure and didn't want anything else. This meant no flirting with guys etc but over the weekend whilst camping out with her she has began to blank me out. It is my birthday in a few days. I don't want anything but her but am I being paranoid in thinking she doesnt want the same? help. thanks :0(
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): My girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months. We love each other and we would die for another. But she is just too damn guy friendly. I checked her myspace comments and this guy seemed to be flirting with her. So I checked his myspace page and she's practically flirting with him in every comment. It pisses me off. What pisses me off most is the fact that she says she loves me more than anyone and anything and Im the only guy for her. If im the only guy for her then why the fuck is she saying "I love ya" to other guys? Whether it be as friends or not, it still hurts like hell to hear that.
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2008): whatever you do dont fight fire with fire it will only backfire on you trust me
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2008): Look, dude. Here's how I would handle something like this, and here's my opinion. You shouldn't be with a girl that does that. Maybe it's not the answer you wanna hear, but it's true. If she spends time with a guy that wants her to kiss him, and keeps spending time with him even after he has asked her, it seems like only a matter of time before she gives in. This means she has obviously been flirting pretty heavy with him if he is wanting her to kiss him so badly, and that means she is disrespecting you. Maybe you like her a lot, but don't let your heart get in the way of your brain...it happens all to often and it hurts a lot of people. If she doesn't stop hanging with the guy, tell her you wanna break it off. Who knows? Maybe that will frighten her and she will show you how she really feels about you and everything will be alright.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 March 2008): ya man, freakin, i recently moved out of state and my gf wanted to stay together with me. And i really love her, but now its really confusing. She wants to get engaged, its obvious by the way she talks. yet she kissed another guy, and flirts, not a lot, but she does. If I was not a nice person I would end it now, but im too nice and idk what to do? I like this girl here, but i havent even made a move on her cause i dont cheat, but i cant trust my gf anymore. DAMN
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2008): My girlfriend does the same except for the fact she will go off flirt with this guy comes back to me giant hug and a i love you your my favourite then bam off to the guy again i dont get either and its not like when its the two of us its bad but she always seems in a better mood with him then me but when were alone she claims she loves me to death i just really dont get whats going on with her help please?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007): hi all, my fiance is kind of the same, we have been together for about 9 months now and i moved along way to be with her, gave up all i had, it wasnt much but still, everything was great at first, durin the honeymoon period, but since i got here she was always very secretive with her phone, she wasnt wen i used to come and stay, only once i moved here. Then one day i went out with a mate to play poker nd i had taken some numbers from her phone nd found out that they were numbers of men across the country, now, i hurt, but more at the fact that she had been hiding it from me than that she had been flirting, she always pretends to be someone else than who she is, i know she hasnt physically cheated on me, but i feel second best sometimes to these other men. Anyways, we spoke about messages id seen on her phone, ofcourse i was in the wrong for looking in her phone, but she admitted that she souldnt of been doing it. we said it would end there forgotten bout. not that easy for me! I found she was still doing it, which was denied ofcourse nd we argued about. Sometimes i just dont know what to think or believe, i really do want to trust her and believe what she says, but the secretivness is still there, she was in the living room this morning nd left her phone in the toilet, nd i just went to pee nd she came to the door t get her phone, just so it wasnt near me. I dont care about the thing anymore who she txts i just hate her not trusting me, the phone goes everywhere with her, to the toilet in the morning, in her pillow case when she sleeps, in her pocket whenever she leaves a room. I know trust has to be earnd but where do i start here? i dare not bring up the topic of the phone cos it will lead to an arguement. I'm just letting it all out here folks, dont bother reading on if you dont want to! how do you trust someone if they dont trust you? I often tell her that i want to know about stuff that she was doing with the phone, she says her past is her past, which is fair enough, but she was doing it whilst she was with me, does that not give me the right to know? god im starting to sound like a male bridget jones or something, god help me!!!! im anthony by the way, feel free to reply or give advice to my situation thanks for reading i feel a bit better now!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2007): wow... my girlfriend does the same thing. she claims to love me but she seems to like someone else. im going to a private school and im afraid that if i leave shes going to break up with me and go out with this kid. she already hugs the guy and spends more time with him than me. if we are ever talking and one of her friends comes up to her, she'll stop talking to me and just talk to her friend. ordinarily i wouldnt put up with this but it hasnt always been this way and im afraid i did something wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2007): i currently feel the same about my girlfriend
when she starts to blank me out, i just go up to her and give her a nice hug and a kiss on the cheek or something
but she has been doing it more than ever latley and it is really bothering me, i feel paranoid in that all im thinking about is if she feel the same about me that i do about her
when we first started going out we would always hold hands, walk together, kiss everyday....now, its not exactly like that
so what i did was actually quite simple: at any given moment unless she is talking to someone, look her in the eye and tell her that you love her and she means the world to you
trust me, she will look at you and tell you the same :)
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reader, Scotty_uk +, writes (21 June 2005):
thanks for the feedback. i can be over protective at times. my brothers fiance is an agony aunt and she went thru alot with me. i think i have a better understanding of whats best
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reader, robinlovescena +, writes (21 June 2005):
 i am not trying to be mean at all, but i think that this chick is trying to give you hint that she wants to break it off with you but she is scared so she is trying to give you the message that she wants you to break up with her, because she thinks you will be upset and she does not wanna hurt you. trust me, son this is what is going down in funky town. think about it. and if she keeps saying that she loves you and that that is not what si happening at all, then you need to ask yourself....what if she could be cheating? flirting is a major sign of cheating and you may want to look into calling her more often. if she is going to the mall of somewhere, ask her who is going to be with, what time she will be back and after she gets back call her, and ask her everything that she had done. from beginning to the end. details and everything. she may think this is being nosey, but you are just conserned. good luck~Robin~aka advice gurl
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (21 June 2005):
The fact that your girlfriend spends time with a male friend should not alarm you, if you trust her, but knowing that he texted her "begging her to kiss him" and she kept this truth from you...is valid ground for you to be alarmed.The 2 of you need to have a heart to heart conversation about being honest with each other.Do NOT use anger to express your feelings or she will absorb only your negative emotion instead of your concern.Be firm & concise...confident in yourself as a man who has much to offer her, and the fact you desire to grow together as a couple.You state that she chose you because she feels "secure" with you.If you want that security to REMAIN stable, then you need to realize that harmless flirting is OKAY, it adds spice to the relationship, but EXCESSIVE flirting is inappropriate.We are sexual creatures, and will continue to be attracted to the opposite sex until the day we die, so if you expect someone to have "tunnel vision" only for you, is unrealistic.If you give her the freedom to flirt then I GUARANTEE you will notice a positive change in her attitude towards you.She will be more relaxed & secure in your company, instead of "blanking you out."Jealousy & possessiveness are DESTRUCTIVE...passion and desire are healthy & exciting...feelings worth exploring.Remember...when you go out with her...she is on YOUR arm, and she is going home with YOU...she may check out the "hamburger" on the menu...but you are her "filet mignon!"
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