A
male
age
30-35,
*avid110968
writes:My girl and I have been dating for about 3 months. I have never had such great feelings for anyone before. Shes just amazing and i feel lucky to have her. But anyway, everything was going well until a few weeks ago when she came out that she was bisexual. I was the first person that she told and she still hasn't told anyone else yet (not even her family). She told me she has had relationships with women in the past. She said she didn't bring it up earlier because she didn't want to freak me out and she's not always comfortable talking about it. Needless to say I was caught off guard. But I told her it didn't matter to me and it doesn't make me think any differently of her. But as the days have passed more thoughts have been brewing in my head. Now i know this seems very childish but i feel very insecure. Im just scarred that she will leave me for a woman, I cant help get the feeling out of my head. Part of the insecurity is the fact that i could never do what a woman could do for her as thats not my gender. So the bottom line is, i dont know how to cope with my gf being bisexual. I dont want to split up with her because its only ME thats having an issue with this. BUT she has assured me that she would never cheat, and that its just sexuality. So any advice on how to cope with this would be really nice. Sorry if iv come across as quite childish its not my intent. If you want to know anymore that could help please ask.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (2 November 2014):
 It would be the same for her to fear you will leave her for another woman.
Here is the deal with bi-sexuals. THEY can be HAPPY with either gender. GENDER is not THE most important thing to them. It's not like if they ARE with a guy, they rather have a girl or vice versa - it's the fact that they CAN be attracted (SEXUALLY) to either/both gender.
She can leave YOU for another guy as easily as she can for a girl.
Get my point?
Have some faith that she is WITH you because she WANTS to be WITH YOU.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 November 2014):
 The things you need to know are that she is happy with a man. She is not with a man because she's frustrated with women. She is not with a man just because it's easier and her family approves of it. She is not with a man because the state law does not make it easy for her to get married to a woman. She is satisfied with you, attracted to your body and do not need to fantasize about a woman in bed. There are misconceptions of what it means to be bisexual. Some people assume it means being promiscuous. At 3 months you are slowly getting to know her and it is normal to feel insecure. The point of telling you this is not to warn you of future trust issues. She wants to be honest with you and is letting you into her every detail of her life. If you feel there is something you can't do as a woman, that could be the ability to listen and comfort, the ability to empathize, and less need to disconnect and withdraw into a man cave. It would be great to have both male sides and females sides in us. I think being in a relationship helps bring out those. You are not the only one to feel insecure here. If she has reason to, it will be because she fears you would leave her for a woman who's totally heterosexual. Being bisexual could mean she suffered from not being able to fit in. So if you could be the one to accept her, inside and out, then she could stick with you forever. She is looking for acceptance, not using her sexuality as a pass to cheat on you.
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