A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:me and my friend with benefits we havent slept together and i am still a virgin i lied to him and said i have been with loads of guys and then yesterday i told him the truth and now he is feeling guilty that he has ruined my first time doing certain stuff i just dont know what to do and will we keep doing anything like that again or would he keep his distance from me cause i am a virgin cause a first time should be special shouldnt it i just dont know what to do
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friend with benefits, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Polite Fellow +, writes (4 May 2009):
Only lose your virginity with him if he is special to you. Then your first time can only be special.It isn't important how, when or where you do it, that isn't what makes it special, its being with someone you love. If this friend just wants to screw around then i don't think its worth it.Never be ashamed of being a virgin, you have nothing to feel guilty or worried about. Maybe he will have second thoughts as he thought you were just in it for the pleasure where-as now he knows that you have the chance to lose your virginity in a loving and romantic relationship rather than a shallow romp.I hope he is a nice chap, and i hope you do whats right for you in the long term lovey.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni told him in a text cause i couldnt do it 2 his face and he is on holiday and i asked him if he wonted to carry on being fwb and he sai i dont know and i am going 2 try and enjoy my hol i think i upset him and could i have lost what we had b 4 i told him
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): Sounds to me you have done the right thing in telling him. (good) sounds to me if he cares enough for you - it won't be a problem. If he doesn't care enough then he isn't worth it.
The first time should be memorable - however, point of note that first time normally isn't fireworks and earthquakes - bit like jumping on a bike for the first time - normally a few seconds of excitement where you try and stay upright followed by a painful crash. But it does get better (a lot) - Especially when the stabilisers are removed.
Hugs Star.x.
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A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (23 February 2009):
 I don't know how it feels like to do it the first time with a random guy. But I did enjoyed my first time because it felt special.
Maybe he experienced the same thing the first time and want you to experience that too.
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