A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I'm in my first year of university. I'm quite enjoying my time here, but there is something troubling me. I keep hearing all these stories of my friends going out and "scoring" with women. I'm quite an outgoing person, but I've been out countless times and never so much as had a conversation with a girl (mind you, conversation isn't easy in nightclubs). I admit I've been out and ended up making out with girls before, but since I've been here (just over 4 months), I've not been able to go out and attract anyone. I worry that it may be my physical appearance. I'm not overweight, but I have a lot of hair, and I know that can sometimes be a little off putting, but other times, it's been the key to an ice breaker.This isn't helping my confidence, and when I started university I was full of confidence. I'm sinking into the mind set that I'm not as smart or attractive as some of my friends. I feel like I keep saying the wrong things at the wrong time (Generally).Can anyone give me some advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): It's not your personality to and that whole overweight thing is a load of bull manure. Yeah, people whom are overweight have to work harder to get what they want, but I know guys of all shapes, sizes and demeanors get women all the time.
Question is: what type of women are they getting?
If you think you're not as attractive, you are definitely and utterly correct. You are NOT as attractive, but now where are you basing that off of?
Reflection: I'm a slender male. I truly and utterly know I am not as attractive as some of my friends, but then I always find the occasional girl tell me differently. Why is that? (rhetorical question)
It is because your looks is based on various factors. PERSONAL PREFERENCE is one. Emotional boosting is another. EB means when someone find your looks decent enough or at least, presentable enough, coupled with your lovable personality traits, you will seem many times sexier than how common society would normally deem you as.
It seems like you're trying too hard to do something others are doing for themselves. Yes, I am sure you want to have sex with girls and get adoration from others. Who doesn't? But, you're basing a ton of your 'desires' from this external pressure you're getting from your friends and peers. It's understandable, but utterly ridiculous.
Look, it's really easy - the solution I mean. If you feel you NEED to NOT lose out, then change yourself. If you feel what others are doing isn't on par with what you really want, then shrug it off and go masturbate. Regardless, continue as you are, maybe with some slight adjustments and somehow find someone whom you're more genuinely interested in rather than just simply score.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2009): Hi
Don't believe all that you hear around the campus walls...most of it is complete tosh. Seriously stop worrying and remember it takes time to settle into university life. Concentrate on your studies first the fun will begin later on. TRUST ME!
Good luck and hope all your dreams come true dude!
via con dios.
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