A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:so. my best friend went out once with a guy that she knew i really liked him, but i told her i was ok because i wanted them both to be happy. she also really liked him but recently he has been talking to me alot more and has implied that he likes me. my friend knows he likes me because i was open and told her about it, however she does not seem to forgive me for it even though i did not intentionally lead him on. i talk alot with the guy via texts and have become quite close to him. he has made several obvious comments that he likes me and has asked me "to get coffee". i really like him but am worried that my friend will never talk to me again if i go out with him because, even though she tries not to show it, it's obvious she blames me for him liking me over her.my queston is... should i continue my relationship with him and accept his offer to go out because we both like each other and we can't control who we like, or should i end our relationship here and save my friendship?i know i should choose her over him, but i thin we could really work and i let her go out with him even though i liked him because i wanted her to be happy...what should i do???
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female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 Hi there, As I understand it, you knew him and liked him first, she began to like him and you told her that it was alright. Now he wants to talk to you, after she went out with him , though she knew you liked him, but you gave over to her, is this the straight of it, please give me the real story , if I have it wrong. Based on this being correct, if it were me, I would back off from the guy, because you gave your friend the green light, even though she knew you liked him, she didn't let that stop her, but I would be bigger than she was. Let them go forward, you stay out of it, in these situations, I think the real deal will come out in time. What I mean by that is, that I think he likes you better than he does her, but if you go out with him and start a deeper relationship , you will lose your friend, but if you let the two of them get together, she is going to find that he will possibly lose interest in her, because he likes her less. But I would not make myself directly responsible for their non relationship break-up, if you understand what I am saying. Leave her find out from him, what the situation is, so you are not the bad guy here. Do not talk to him while this is playing out. Not a fair thing to do, if you are going to take my suggestion. If it works for them, you move on, I doubt it will. But then, if he comes looking for you I would take the time, to let some time past, and let him know why, she will be hostile anyway, but you allowed her the time to make their relationship work, if there was any relationship betweem them, so she can't blame you. But you will be able to tell her that she went out with him, even though she knew you liked him, and you will be in the position to have taken the higher road. Sorry to be so long winded. Hope this helps. Let me know how things go, I hope ther is no competition between the two of you and that you both try to stay away from the same guy, creates complications, as you can see. Take care always and please keep me informed. Be good to yourself.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): Hmmm this is a difficult one...And yeah your right no one can control who they like... The thing you have to think about is are you willing to lose a friend over it... If you really do like him your friend should be happy for you like you were for her. I think you just need to talk to your friend and explain your feelings or explain to him to maybe leave things for a while as its hurting your friend, he'll understand if he really likes you.
But remember you have to do things for yourself sometimes, we can never go through life without hurting people.
Good Luck x
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A
female
reader, weary-zone  +, writes (18 July 2008):
 well tell her that you let her go out with him because you want to see her happy though you liked the guy .. so she really must think about you before she thinks about herself (just like you did) if she was a good friend plus she mustn't get mad or upset about it because you both liked the guy in the same time its not like you dated her ex !! so tell her that you both are best friend and a guy shouldn't be a problem between you guys
good luck
x
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