A
male
age
30-35,
*onfusedromantic
writes:ok, so I'm a bit confused romantically right now, I'm currently single, but my best friend has been dating this girl for a few weeks now. I find her completely beautiful both physically and mentally. He however does not feel the same way about her and is actually about to break up with her. I Already know that she at least likes me as a person we've had many good conversations. My real question is should I tell her that I have real feelings for her, I've heard my friend say that he has no emotional attachment to her at all and is pretty much just with her for sex and I feel that she deserves so much better than that. If by chance he doesn't break up with her soon, should I tell her anything at all I feel so bad watching such a good person being used, but at the same time it's one of my friends who is doing the using. At the same time I really really like her, I just really need some outside input on this situation. Any advice is greatly appreciated this is tearing my brain and heart up.
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male
reader, confusedromantic +, writes (29 April 2010):
confusedromantic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes I understand that, how would you recommend that I deal with that because I would like to be there for her but at the same time I don't want to appear to her that I'm just trying to exploit her pain, I really do care about her and would really like to pursue a real relationship with her. I feel that this situation is really touchy and will require some careful navigation on my part if I want things to end out how I would like them to. but yes thank you for the advice
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (29 April 2010):
To be honest I'm not sure if you should have a friend like him if that's how he thinks of her. Anyway, he gave the blessing, so don't worry about that now. But do remember my first point, which was that she may not be ready for another relationship. If she does get dumped, then you'll need to give her time and space.
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A
male
reader, confusedromantic +, writes (29 April 2010):
confusedromantic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI understand the friends ex's thing but, he never gave a fuck about her, and I happen to think that she is perfect. Maybe I should add in that my friend is kinda using her for a rebound off a two year relationship and is still quite attached to the other girl. Also, I have mentioned to him in conversation when he had mentioned breaking up with her, that "I would gladly take her off your hands" to which he replied "dude, you can have her" so I don't really think it would compromise our friendship. This girl really is something special, you have to believe me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (29 April 2010):
I think you'd need to give her time to get over being hurt, as you don't want to end up a rebound. Also, friends' ex's tend to be out of bounds, as this can cause trouble at a later date. I'm not sure this is such a good idea to be honest.
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