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female
,
anonymous
writes: My best friend is a tomboy. I really want to change her to be more girly because we're in university now. What can I do to change her?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2005): let her be what she wants to be. i love tomboy girls myself personally.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2005): Hello I am from Holland (Europe) And I really like that word tomboy. You don't have a word like that in Dutch wich means the same.
I may go a bit of topic but who cares.
I just want to ask you guys how do you reconise a Tomboy. Is it just the boyish things or is it more like strong personalities?
I think I am a guy who likes tomboy girls (falling for that kind of girls), but at the same time I fear them a little, because I am quite the opposite of a Tomboy girl (not that I wear make up, I am just a bit more sensitive than most guys and things like that) Mayby that is why I like them, opposites atract.
by the way tomboy girls a so rare
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2005): I have a female friend who is a bit of a Tomboy. She is one of the kindest and nicest people you could expect to meet. She is also very attractive and wears no make up (she doesnt need to). From a male point of view, a female with Tomboy tendencies can be great fun! Everyone is different and we all like different things in different people. I wouldn't change anything about my friend. To me, she is perfect as she is. Don't try to make people change. Accept them as they are.
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A
reader, becky05 +, writes (18 July 2005):
You cant. she has the right to be who she wants.
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (18 July 2005):
 If you're her friend, accept who she is. Part of friendship involves seeing beyond the superficialities, and loving the person underneath.
Being a tomboy (or not) is something your friend decides for herself. Most young women grow out of that stage eventually, but some never do, and are very happy. There may be aspects of the slightly more masculine appearance that appeal to your friend, things like wearing comfortable clothing and not having to spend a lot of money on makeup. Maybe she feels she has more power and influence when she looks more boyish.
The point is, you can't do anything to change her. You need to decide if her appearance is so important to you that you don't feel you can stay friends with her. If it is, you should level with her and explain why you feel that way. Be prepared to hurt her feelings, though.
Otherwise, smile and love your friend for all the qualities she has that are not dependant on "girly" appearances.
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