A
female
age
41-50,
*erla222
writes:I would like to ask for advice about my friend. I’m worried about her. She categorically refuses to go to a doctor that’s so important to any woman’s health – gynecologist. We’re also colleagues and our job is asking all employees to do some medical tests, for women it’s also gynecologist. My friend refuses to go. She’s 35 and she has never been to the gynecologist. She has never even had her breasts checked. She says she hates this doctor and that she’ll never show her private parts to anyone, especially if it’s a complete stranger. She’s that kind of person who doesn’t go to any doctors unless she have some serious complaints. I know a wonderful, kind and nice female gynecologist, who’s also my doctor. I offered my friend to go with her, if it makes her feel safer, she refused. We are actually very close, we’re like sisters. She’s pretty strange person, very introvert and quiet. She doesn’t have children or husband, not even boyfriend. Many men like her, but she never lets anyone close to her. And yes, she’s also virgin. I’ve told her about possibility of having cervical cancer and stuff, that when she will start to have complaints, it’ll probably be too late. She was just like „ then it’s my destiny”. I’m so worried about her, now there are so many cases of women dying from these women things. I don’t want to maybe lose her someday because of that. How can I help her?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2012): If she is in fact a virgin, the chances of her getting cervical cancer are pretty much nil since it typically comes from a sexually transmitted virus, HPV.
I don't mean to be cavalier, but if she's so introverted and still a virgin at 35, you might recommend a therapist instead of a gynecologist.
I think the only instance I've heard of a sexually inactive woman having a problem like that was a friend with a 60 year old aunt in rural Georgia who finally visited a gynecologist only to find out that her 15 year long ongoing yeast infection wasn't in fact normal.
Hopefully your friend is a little less stoic.
I'd think she's the least likely candidate for problems below the waist, but she likely has a few personal issues from the sound of it. Maybe stop pushing her to see a gynecologist and just try to get her to open up personally in other ways.
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (12 December 2012):
 You can't make her go unfortunately. If she has severe anxiety about the doctor and would rather risk her health than try to cope with it, there's nothing beyond giving her nudges that you can do. It sounds like she has a doctor phobia, she might want to try looking around online to find others like her and how she can get over it. Luckily most cancers screened for in a pap smear/pelvic exam are caused by HPV, which she probably doesn't have as a virgin (though I'd wonder if her extreme "shyness" about sex/genitals is caused by a sexual trauma). Virtually all cervical cancer is caused by HPV.
Either way, you can continue to push her, but that's about all you can do.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (11 December 2012):
 You can't help her. You can only nag her which obviously isn't making any difference and may possibly be helping her to dig in her heels. Quit the nagging. She will mostly likely regret her decision down the road but she is a big girl and this is really only her own business.
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