A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear readers, I simply need help and advice.I have been some stupid school girl and fell for a married teacher. I don't even know how to put into words and I don't know whose fault. But what happened has happened. This teacher didn't taught me but was always close to me, helped me go through tough times. At some point I started to fall for him because he has awaken me sexually. He was putting hands on my shoulders, on my arms, on my hands, brushing his body against mine when he walks past me, constantly complimented me.. we exchanged emails everyday.. and in order not to play innocent here, I admit that I enjoyed the attention and played along. I initiated contact, stayed after school with him chatting, accepted some lifts to my house, and never stopped him. Things went so fast until I felt myself totally falling with him. It was quite obvious he knew, he had thrown in some comments about it, said I enjoyed his attention and he enjoyed mine, and was blowing jokes that we seemed like a couple and that I liked him.. well, he even lied to me about his age and made himself young by a couple of years.In our second year, I haven't treated him well and was always rude and harsh to him, yet he stayed around, always forgiving and nice. But I noticed that he didn't like to see me flirting with any boy in school, always tried to get my attention and so did I. I loved that, I thought he liked me ..that's why he was getting jealous.. well, stupid me.Anyways, the third year came in and I was no longer a student in school, but we kept our friendship. I visited him after summer and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. We carried being 'friends'. It was some times cold, sometimes things warm up..but my love for him was just getting stronger. And it seems that I was fading away from his life.. We got closer recently again. His baby was born and he seemed to be doing great in his life. I visited his house twice. He was nice and treated me well. But still showed me some encouraging interest, BUT I guess that was my imagination because I was desperate, desperate for any sign of interest. Some time ago, I confessed my love for him as I did over a year ago. I don't why I did it, but I couldn't take it longer. I needed to say it. As a result, the man ,who kept me in touch and was planning my following visit to his house, cut all contact with me. I called him once, sent him an apology but he just ignored me and never asked about me again. Now, it hurts like hell. I want to understand what happened and I feel confused, cheap and stupid. Here is me asking you readers for help!I am not asking for advices how to get him and I know it's all wrong and nasty. I just want to know what should I do now? I feel my pride torn into pieces and I feel stupid and nasty and I truly regret everything I said. But I still don't understand his reaction. He knew I always loved him, so why he reacted like this when I admitted it? Have I made him uncomfortable? does he think now that I'm a bad person?Please, just tell me what you think, even if it's hurtful :) Cheers.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2013): I think you were brave and smart to tell him how you felt. It seems that he enjoyed abusing his position as your teacher--no doubt completely aware of your feelings toward him--but he was probably hoping to keep it secluded from the rest of his life. He probably hoped you would just keep dreaming about him. Now that you've told him your feelings and he has reacted by withdrawing, you are free to experience other things. You did nothing wrong at all during the whole relationship. You can learn from this experience.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (29 May 2013):
 There are handful of articles available, on this site, about teacher/student goings-on. They NEVER end well.... as you are learning.......
Good luck....
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (29 May 2013):
 Maybe he enjoyed the flirting and the attention he was receiving from a beautiful younger woman...but when you faced him with something solid like feelings ... he got scared and realized that he had taken things too far...
Either way...he is older than you and should have known better than to lead you on! Also as your teacher...it is his responsibility to make sure that lines are not crossed... You have nothing to feel bad about. Forget this man and stay away from him. You made a mistake to take things far but he helped you to go that distance.... Just erase this from your life immediately and move on! xx
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (29 May 2013):
 Hi
You cannot take all the blame here, he was the adult and in a professional capacity he was behaving in a way that was wrong. You were a child and he was only supposed to teach you.
He actively encouraged you and you enjoyed the attention and he must have known how you felt, even in a small way.
All you can do is learn from your mistake and be thankful it was never more physically intimate.You may feel stupid but have no reason what so ever to feel nasty or cheap.
Try to put it and him behind you now and move on with your life. See your friends, keep busy,continue your education or career. Do not punish yourself, he is the one who is guilty, he was the adult and your teacher.
No more contact with this man,he knows he crossed a line and could have lost everything.
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