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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hi I am due to get married in 4 weeks to the man of my dreams but I have found out that last week he went out with his friends and ended up going home with an ex g/f. I know this because his friends took a photo of them both and he was also seen walking home with her. I am devastated and don't know what to do. Is this a last minute fling or a sign of things to come? My trust has been completly shattered but I also can't imagine life without him. Please help
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (13 June 2006):
 When you say he went home with her.. was this as he needed somewhere to stay ? Was he drunk and she just took care of him ? Did they actually do anything together ? If he did then his loss, lucky you found out now! at least you can decide whether you want his sorry ass anymore after that, and can move on without the extra hassle of being married. If he didnt then you have to learn to be a little more trusting that hes likely to come into female contact of any kind and most times there is nothing in it. Make sure you have your facts straight first off, its all very well people saying things, but just because he walked with her doesnt mean anything happend.. dont condem him unless you know for sure.
Take care
x
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (13 June 2006):
 Hang on...do you actually know that something happened? Have you bothered to talk to him about this? or are you just guessing? You supply no hard facts that they actually spend the night together and unless there is something you have not told us, you really are just guessing about what happened. And what was the photo of them? Were they just smiling or was did the actions in the photo constitute cheating?
I mean, I have an ex who I see from time to time through some mutual friends and we are good mates - we parted on nice terms and we have both moved on. Now, if someone saw him walking me home, they might jump to a conclusion that I am cheating because we were seen together, where in reality, he is just being a gentleman.
You don't even know if he went "home" with her, maybe he just walked her to her front door or walked her to cab.
I would talk to him before you flip out too much. This may be really innocent and it would be terrible to break up a relationship because of a misunderstanding.
If he was cheating, then certainly, dump his sorry be-hind but sheesh, give him a chance to explain himself or find someone with some more incriminating evidence then someone saw them walking down the street together!
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (12 June 2006):
 It's a really good thing this happened BEFORE you got married. Have a nice chat with the lad, but it certainly merits postponing the wedding until it's all sorted out.
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A
female
reader, auntie claire +, writes (12 June 2006):
 dear reader you really really need to talk to him and find out exactly whats gone on yu don't want to start a maried life with someone you can trust
good luck i hope things eren't what they seem xxx
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A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx +, writes (12 June 2006):
 This is most certainly a sign of things to come. I understand that sometimes people panic before they get married that they will never have their 'freedom' again but this is just downright ridiculous. You're due to marry this man in 4 weeks and he can't even keep his willy in his pants? As far as I can see, he's not ready to be your husband, or even be in a loving and trusting relationship right now.
As for the girl being his ex girlfriend, that's just awful. He obviously never fully got over this girl and the best thing you can do is cut your losses and move on. I know this is hard but this man will continue to hurt you over and over again if you marry him. If they get away with it once, they will do it forever, I don't care what anyone says. I honestly can't believe you can even think about keeping him after this, though I know how hard it must be to imagine life without him. But frankly, darling, I would rather spend my life alone than with someone who hurts me so badly and could continue to do this forever.
Hold your head up, girl, get rid and find someone who loves you and is willing to become to husband you deserve.
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