A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey and thanks So my fiancé and I were planning a trip together. We had a disagreement and he said some nasty stuff to me. Called me names and actually threatened to rip my mouth off. I was shocked ! I couldn’t believe this man I’m supposed to marry would behave so irrational! Anyways, he has left for his trip about a 2 weeks ago and is staying with a friend until I arrive. He finally messaged me today after not hearing from him in two days. I asked him since we haven’t talked if he’s still at his friends because my flight is approaching. He doesn’t even have the decency to tell me! He tells to find out myself. I want to know so I can cancel my flight if he left for back home. I can’t believe how ridiculous he is behaving. Any advice would be appreciated. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Haviette  +, writes (10 September 2019):
He's now showing you his violent side. If you marry him, you and your children will get to see and feel all his other violent sides, too, in a lifetime of misery. Very quietly, pack up a bag, sneak out, and RUN! Get help and protection, because he might stalk you, and try to lure you back with sweet talk or threats.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2019): Fly to a wonderful future WITHOUT him, love does not make threats or have selfish ignorance. Please save yourself from a life of unhappiness and abuse. You can CHOOSE a good life with happiness and love or even enjoy been single and happy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2019): DO. NOT. GO. This guy sounds like an absolute nightmare.It sounds scarily similar to my Sister's last relationship. She had the honeymoon period where everything was great (which I'm guessing is what you've already had since you got engaged) and then afterwards her boyfriend completely changed. It started off with vile name-calling, then threats of violence, then childish mind games. You seem to be going through these stages.He then started to control her I.E. by checking her phone, stopping her seeing friends and family and taking money off her. Then he turned violent. Luckily she saw the light after 8 months of him knocking her about and came home.It's probably not want you want to hear and you may not think your fiance is capable of it but the warning signs are there I'm afraid. Please, PLEASE think very carefully about where you are going with this man. Someone who truly loves would not threaten to rip your mouth off.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (9 September 2019):
 Wow, and you haven't ended your engagement yet?
Your focus in on the wrong end of the stick, OP. You shouldn't worry about canceling a flight but canceling that relationship and ANYTHING to do with this man!
I agree with AuntieBim that this is a GOOD thing it happened, it gave you a glimpse of what kind of man you ALMOST married and frankly, you dodged a bullet!
If you live with him at HIS place... MOVE out now. Make sure ALL your important documents are save with family and friends. If the place is yours (or you don't live together) change the locks and pack up ALL his stuff (drop it off at his family or one of his friends).
He sounds like a twat. Not someone anyone should want to marry.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2019): After his threat of violence against you, is when you really should have cancelled your flight and all future plans with this nasty man! You did not, and after a cooling down period, when you simply asked for his location, so as not to waste air fare by flying to the wrong place, he continues to show you what a future life with a genuine asshole will be like! You do not need this type of man in your life! Change your locks, make sure that your own money is seperate and secure, and break your engagement in writing! If you can afford it, employ the services of an attorney just to send a copy of the breakup letter to, to be retained on file, noting on the letter, who received that copy, to discourage any thought of a violent response against you, by your ex fiance! A man who will threaten his fiance, will only become more emboldened after the wedding, and may indeed act out upon his threats! I shall pray for your safety and for a happy future for you! You are quite young, and there are good men still out there!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious + ♥, writes (9 September 2019):
 Seriously? You need advice on this? Sweetheart, he is a knob. Is this how you want to spend your married life?
Cancel your flight. If you lose money on it, see it as an investment in your future. Then sort out your living arrangements before he comes back.
Thank your lucky stars you found out BEFORE you married him what he is really like. You dodged a bullet. Get on with the rest of your life and find someone who deserves you. You can do so much better than this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2019): Crikey, and you still call him your fiance and think of marrying him? Why?
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (9 September 2019):
 Cancel your flight and then change the locks on the doors. If he doesn't care enough to tell you if he is still there or not so you can meet up with him then he is sending you a very strong message.
Treat this as a wake up call and give thanks you are not already married. Your fiancé might be trying to goad you into breaking up so that he wont look like the bad guy.
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