A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:hi, im a 28/f. I was in a bad relationship, he hurt me physically and emtionally, and took over my money. We broke up , but we have a child together and i still love him and want to chat, but my family tells me to stay away from him, and they threaten me if i go back with him that they wont help me and disown me etc. Im tired of hearing it. He made me feel good about myself unlike my family and i dont know know what i should do. Could you please help me. Thankyou
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2008): You say you love him and I believe you.
But love isn't enough. Not without respect too. You don't have both in this. Your family is right.
Think of how much effort & energy & experiences you've got with this guy. Could anyone else you've ever been with add up to that? Even close? Probably not.
And that's exactly the point. He's not the only guy you could ever feel this way about, just the only one who has had the chance so far.
It hurts but it's time to move on. You can't change him. Either you have him like this, or you don't have him.
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (22 August 2008):
He made you feel good unlike your family? What?!? Ditto what Cupidguy said! I don't mean to criticize...but really? Your family is doing this because they don't know what else to do to keep you away from the guy! You said so yourself that it was a bad relationship and that he was abusive. You know yourself, that you shouldn't be with this guy. Are you afraid to be alone? Did he brainwash you into thinking that he makes you feel better than your family?
Your family is probably upset that you stay with this person. They can't sit back and just watch you go back to him...instead they have to bribe you. They're doing this because THEY care. Also think about your child. He's been abusive to you, what makes you think he won't be abusive to him or her? Go look in your phone book like...NOW and find a woman's abuse hotline so you can call them and they WILL help you. You need to stay away from him!
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A
female
reader, heretohelp-kirsty  +, writes (22 August 2008):
 well if you are in love you cant help it right ? so maybe just a chat to discuss whats happened in the past and hopefully he will not be like that again . maybe with profesional help aswell . especially when there is a child involed you should do everything to even remain friends for the childs sake ,
let me know . good luck . kirsty x
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