A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:When I was eight years old I was raped in my bedroom by my Mother's then boyfriend while she was out. After that I was always afraid of men until my late teens. I am doing okay for myself now and have a very successful career. I finally decided to tell my Mother and step-Father what had happened and the reason I used to be afraid of men. My Mother cried and blamed herself for what had happened and warned me not to tell my fiance as he would probably leave me. I told her that it wasn't her fault and that I would tell my fiance as I feel it would be the right thing to do. It turns out that it was the right thing to do as he was very supportive an it made our relationship even stronger which I didn't think was possible as it was already extremely strong. However, my younger sister was not so supportive and accused me of lying to get attention. I hear from my Mother that she now calls me a liar and an attention seeker behind my back. She is as nice as pie to me when we see each other though. I have always come second to my sister which is bad enough but her name calling is getting me down. Her fiance isn't very nice, he once called a vile name on the issue which resulted in my fiance giving him a knuckle sandwich. He regularily cheats on my sister and talks to her like she's dirt. My family has presented evidence of her fiance's cheating but she won't believe that it is happening and ignores it. I just don't understand why my sister is being so mean about it. Can anyone help?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (26 January 2009):
Your sister is jealous of what you have with your finance. She sees everyone being great you you about the abuse and your bloke being amazing and standing up for you.
It's no wonder she's trying to make her self feel better by putting you down. It's the only way she has of feeling better.
All you can do is ignore her and avoid her. Tell her that you will be there for her when she finds herself a decent bloke and you will always love her as a sister but you don't have to put up with her being horrible about you.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2009): Your sister as you've said always had to have one up on you, and it seems she's not yet over her sibling rivalry.
She sounds like a horribly insecure person and I wouldn't pay any attention to her comments on what has happened to you.
She also seems like the kind of person that isn't happy unless there's drama and she's part of it. When she's calling you a liar and an attention seeker, she is projecting her insecurities, because she's the one who is the lying attention seeker.
It's as if you coming out with what happened, took your parents attention away from her for 5 minutes and she couldn't handle that.
She has deepseated emotional problems if you ask me and I really don't think you can do anything to fix that, she has to figure that out for herself. As for her boyfriend there is also nothing anyone can do about that, because of her personality type she'll feel an ever greater connection to him the more you and your family disapprove.
Count your blessings, you seem to have a fantastic fiance who's willing to jump to your defense (it must have been so satisfying to see him punch that asshole) and cares deeply for you.
Don't worry about your sister, you can't change her only be there for her when things go wrong.
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A
female
reader, justjess +, writes (26 January 2009):
 I don't know what to say to you about this but hopefully everything will be alright soon, an just make sure you are there for your sister when she finally wakes up an see's him for the man he is.
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