A
male
age
16-17,
anonymous
writes:hi, I have a problem with my ex-girlfriend. after she finished with me we decided to stay friends and i really wanted that because i didn't want to lose her. However i've been feeling like she doesn't want to now. she never makes any effort to get in contact i always have to and she never wants to meet up. when we walk past eachother in school she doesn't even acknowledge my existence, i've tried talking to her about it but she just says i'm being stupid and that she loves me as a friend but im not convinced. i was thinking of stopping getting in contact with her and if she really cares then she will make an effort. any advice would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2008): although this must be very painful for you, she is just playing games and its a form of control. do not contact her, even though u really feel you want to. do not demeen yourself anymore for someone who does not want you. staying friends rarely works out. at first there are too maany emotions involved and you need to be away from your ex to redefine your life and feelings without them. why stay friends. the one that wants to stay friends is usyally the one still trying to control the situation, a bit like having there cake and eating it. they do not want you, but dont want anyone else to have you either. walk away with dignity, to someone who deserves you.
A
female
reader, baby duck  + ♥, writes (27 March 2008):
 I think you are on the right track, but you're overlooking the possibility that she does not really want to be friends. She just does not want to be 'the bad guy'.
Actions speak louder than words.
Follow your gut and get on with your life, but not with the intention of making her jealous. If she is playing a game, and you play with her, don't cry when you reap what you sow.
Create your peace.
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A
female
reader, Jolie  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 HMMmmm it seems now that she got used to the situation that you contact her first .......so if you don't contact her she is going to feel it. she is going to be thinkin like ''oooo how come he didn't contaced me today'' , she will think about it for sure.
If you are in school then ignore her go and chat with other girls, be cool and dont look at her while youre talkin to girls. Date girls and forget the contact with her.
I know its not easy but DO YOUR BEST
Good luck
Jolie
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A
male
reader, guillaume + ♥, writes (27 March 2008):
Hi,
Yes, you have the right idea. Stop the contact now and try not to be "living" the relationship with her in your mind. Just do what she does now and go your own way. There is a chance she may get upset or jealous and may contact you. It's a risk, but much better than trying to contact her when she ignores you. As an extra point, it's not very nice on her part to not acknowledge you really is it? I think that's rude and you are worth much more than that reaction towards you. Best wishes, G.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (27 March 2008):
 Stay away from her for now and go date other girls.
This may make her jealous and want you back..
Do not be clingy but act confident.
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A
female
reader, purple1234  + ♥, writes (27 March 2008):
 it's very hard sometimes to remain friends with an ex, sometimes you can say, "Ok we will be friends" but you have history, it's hard to be friends without that history getting in the way. if you really got along with her on a friendship level then it will be easier to be friends, but if the connection was mainly physical then the friendship side of things can be gone when u break up, maybe she doesnt feel that u have much in common anymore.
I would let her make the effort as u said, don't try too hard, leave it up to her to talk to you, if she doesnt talk to you, well... you tried, you will have to try to forget her and move on, difficult as that is... if she continually ignores u why keep talking to her?it will only make it harder to get over her.
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