A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my ex 8 years we broke up three months ago. We have a beautiful one year old son. The beginning of our relationship was beautiful after his mom died 5 years ago he was depressed and down and distant but I still stuck by him. Long story short I did everything for him supported him mentally emotionally and financially. He had a baby without me knowing and kept it a secret I found out through the grapevine and when I found out his daughter was already two. He left to a different state without a word to me he just broke up with me because he heard some rumor about me messing around which was untrue. Long story short he came back we hooked up I got pregnant and we were together. It was rocky we fought a lot but I tried my best. He broke up with me three months ago for an immature reason. I was Hurt and tired of his games. I met a guy we became friends talking texting sending pics after a month from the breakup my ex came over and went through my phone and saw what he didn't like. He blames me for the break up and he treats me bad he puts me down and calls me nasty names he told me he's not in love and to move on. I tried my best I never wanted to break up I even stopped talking to the friend I had it meant nothing I was vulnerable and in need for some attention. Now my ex is trying to hurt me on purpose and he even came with a hickey on his neck he makes threats about catching me hanging with male friends and doing something stupid. My thing is he told me to move on he broke up with me first he wants respect but then tells me I'm no one to respect. I wish he would grow up and realize he needs to change and be a real man my son deserves his mom and dad together. My question is will he realize and change and come back?
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys for your answers they mean a lot. I'm going to do whats right for myself and my son.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): "I wish he would grow up and realize he needs to change and be a real man my son deserves his mom and dad together."Sorry, but you're the on who needs to change and stop pining over a lying, cheating, verbally abusive scumbag who treats you with contempt and disrespect. Your son who deserved to be born to two loving, stable, mature parents providing a happy, nurturing, secure home (as all kids do) but for that to have happened you needed to have chosen a man whom you knew in advance was a suitable husband and father before getting married and having children, not a deadbeat loser who got another chick pregnant and falsely accused you of "messing around" before he dropped out of sight before you allowed him to get you pregnant. "My question is will he realize and change and come back?" No and no and no. You need to stop fantasizing about what never was and what will never be, take responsibility for the poor choices you've made that have negatively impacted your son, and start putting your son's emotional well-being and long-term best interests ahead of your roller-coaster love life.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2013): No, your ex will not change!!! You have to keep him out of your life; but for one reason. Your child!All you need from him is child support, not drama. Unless you enjoy being with someone who treats you like dirt, fights with you, makes secret babies, and takes off when he gets enough of you. The guy is long over you. You're still trying to turn him into what you "thought" he was years ago. He had a child with another woman while with you. How much can you take? What kind of home-life would you be offering the child with him in it? Two dysfunctional adults always fighting? A man in the house who calls you filthy names and dogs you around in front of your own child?He is done with you. He wants you to kick him out; so he can disappear without paying support. He's keeping you off balance so you won't come to your senses. He knows you're emotional, and he can cut you off at the knees with little effort. Stop pretending you have some kind of meaningful relationship with that A-hole.Don't use the child as pawn or way to keep him. You'll just get a guy who'll make life hell; while you play the star of your own soap opera. The kid will be emotionally scarred by every dramatic episode! Submit documentation to get your baby child support. It's not about you anymore; it's about the child you brought into this world. You've got to make choices for the child's benefit; no matter how much you have to sacrifice for yourself.If he wants to see the child, make sure you get all the legal ducks in a row. Keep your feelings about the father to yourself. It didn't work. You've got plenty of proof it won't. He does not love either of you; if he abuses and disrespects you, and does not support or co-parent the child. He's wearing you down to keep you away from someone more deserving. He doesn't want you to have a better life with someone else; so he's screwing up your head.Please read your description of him in your post. He doesn't sound like he wants to change nor come back.All you need is the money to help take care of your little one. That's all you should be concerned about.
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