A
female
age
30-35,
*sAle5
writes:My ex and I broke up a year ago. Months we wouldn't talk and others we would. He always initiated contact, I never did. Last year for around 1 month we started hanging out. Somehow we knew that all we were doing was just having sex. However, I still felt something for him so I decided to let him know (put my heart on the line one more time) what I was feeling. I guess he disliked me asking and got upset. He told me he was confused and I told him that there is nothing to be confused about, either we are together or not. He kept texting and calling but I decided to not answer. Weeks later he text me saying he wanted to talk. I told him that if he wanted to talk then to talk, he said it had to be in person. I ignored him for a couple of days more until he asked to see me again. I guess I knew what I was getting myself into but I still decided to see him. I feel like hope is always taking the best of me. So I got there, I asked him to talk and he told me he missed me. Then he hugged me and told me about his day. A few more minutes passed and I asked him again what he wanted to talk and he said the he just wanted to see how I was doing since I have been ignoring him. I felt stupid but didn't show my emotions so I told him I just had to go. He asked me to stay and I said no. As soon as I left I blocked his number. I didn't want to know anything about him. 3 months have passed and he has tried to add me on different social networks but I always delete him. Also, I have his cousins adding me but I decline them as well. He finally got a hold of me on this messenger app. He text me saying hey, how are you, multiple times but I did not answer. Finally, on Saturday he text me saying hey and I decided to text back. I told him that I would really appreciate it if he stop texting me. He said serious? And I said yes. Then on Sunday he text me saying why are you saying that and I told him because you and I don’t have anything to talk about so I prefer that you leave me alone. He read the message and didn't text back. Yesterday he text me saying that if i felt that way he was sorry for bothering me. I didnt text back. I am just disturbed and annoyed with him texting me. I still have feelings for him but I am trying to be strong and move on. Every time I move on he comes back, finding any way to talk to me, he breaks my peace of mind. I feel like he reaches out to me just for sex and because he feels alone. If he had somebody by his side he wouldn't be reaching out to me. Your input would help. Thanks.
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female
reader, MsAle5 +, writes (27 January 2014):
MsAle5 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the honest advice.I have told him before how I felt and that I didn't want a friends with benefit relationship. Last time I told him that he reacted all surprised and told me that he didn't understand where I was coming from. So I ignored him for a couple of months and that's when he told me that he wanted to talk blah blah. Yes, honestly I feel like I still have feelings for him but since I am single too I seek him for my needs. I deactivated my account from the app because like you said he will eventually text back. I know him, he is persistent like that.I am strong and able to keep myself together its just when he randomly appears my whole world shatters. My peace of mind disappears. There is no way for him to talk to me so I hope this is the end of that. Sometime I think that maybe he wants to get back but then I remember that I already put myself so much on the line and he has many chances to get me back, he just didn't take them.
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (25 January 2014):
 I think you hit bingo with you last sentence :
****I feel like he reaches out to me just for sex and because he feels alone. If he had somebody by his side he wouldn't be reaching out to me.*****
I think you are ABSOLUTELY right. You are a familiar face, familiar body and you are also single, so MAYBE you miss sex and some intimacy too and thus he keep trying to let you know he is interested, UNFORTUNATELY he isn't interested in getting back together, just to a "exes with benefits" situation.
Can you block him off the messenger app? If so, do it. Because he isn't going to leave you alone til he find another girlfriend. But he WILL try and string you along in trade for sex.
I don't think he really likes the idea of you wanting to move on, but you know what? I'd tell him Tough Cookies!
Personally, I would want to get back together with him, there was a good reason you broke up. Is there really a good reason to get back together? (other then a little history together?)
Just keep ignoring him. Block him as best you can. Sooner or later you will come to a point where you just don't "care" if you see him, hear his name or he tries to contact you.
Just focus on YOU and YOUR life. Go out with some friends, see family, have some fun. I'd stay single a while longer if I were you, just til you feel more indifferent towards your ex.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 January 2014):
I feel like you have a good handle on what's going on and, for the most part, are behaving appropriately.
The only thing I would suggest is making sure you've really told him what's going on: that you still have feelings for him and aren't interested in a friends with benefits relationship. So unless he's on the same page there's nothing more to talk about.
If he decides to open up and seems to want you back, don't have sex with him until his actions prove his words, otherwise he's libel to keep telling you what you want to hear as long as he's getting laid. It'll make things more interesting and prevent you from rising into things as well.
Many women fall for insincere words because they want them to be true, then they act surprised when the guy leaves for someone else.
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