A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My ex used to call me fat sometimes, even though i am only 5'3 and 125 is that normal, and sometimes he would be like oh i don want to have sex with you b/c ur getting bigger. or like put some makeup on.. everyone says im beautiful and he would too but he had a lot of requiremnts.. is this normal no self confidence after five year relationship. i practically have all the insecurities in the world.. even though people say i could model and i have a cute face i cant see it..
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYEAH I am by no means overweight but i feel like a cow other guys give me compliments but with him i feel uncomfortable to take off even my top.. i feel soo empty I dont know if i ever will fall in lve again.. or even if there is such a thing, it seems all some poetic crap,,, :( so empty...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): Girl I feel for u n know how u feel. My BF does the same to me now. I dnt know why they do this to us. I am same ht & wt as u n use to feel pretty until she shot my confidence right out of me. All his frenz say I am hot & sexy but I feel ugly, fat, & so unattractive. When we having sex, he makes comments bout my weight & sometimes says I'm too heavy. U can imagine how I feel. They must be insecure & trying hard to makes us insecure too. I would never say anything hurtful to him. I try ignoring him n look in the mirror every morning and tell myself "I'm beautiful". U do the same.. u are beautful.... I hope I have ur courage to leave my BF.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo what do I do after he broke up with me and we didnt talk for a month after 5 years he wants to come back but i dont know what to do, there is a part of me that loves him but i know that i dont feel appreciated.. like i have a feeling now that i told him i dont want him to call me he will try harder to win me back, but i dont know if he will ever change?
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2010): My boyfriend does the same thing to me and I dnt know why. I weigh 132 and 5'3". He constantly telling me I'm fat n not pretty & no man will want me. Why do they all do this to us? I wish I know the answer for us both. He is smashing my confidence too
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2010): I absolutely agree with comment below. What an asshole. Men often do this if they themselves are insecure. He could see your beauty and as a result your looks combined with your inner beauty scared him and he probably feared that he wasn't good enough for you in some way (not that he would ever admit to it) men like that bully their women instead stripping them of confidence as a way of control. Learn from it hun. Now you are out of it you will be ok, it may take a while but be strong and rest assured you are not alone! After a while you will start to realise just how much he had changed you from the woman you were when you first met. It is shocking but it happens more often than many realise.
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female
reader, mystiquek + ♥, writes (20 December 2010):
 To put it in a nutshell, your ex was an emotionally abusive, controlling, manipulative jerk. After 5 years of listening to his nonsense, of course you have self esteem issues! Well the hardest part is gone, you're rid of him. Now you have to work on building yourself up again. Its hard to do, but you can do it ok? When you wake up in the morning, you go to the mirror and say "I am a kind, beautiful intelligent woman..(Add whatever else you wish to this). You have to believe in yourself sweetie, or no one else will. Do not let the rubbish of your ex make you feel badly about yourself. If everyone tells you that you are beautiful, BELIEVE them! Men like your ex get a thrill out of putting down women, don't you see? Because the man himself has issues and needs to put someone down so that he can feel better. Think of a school bully..its basically the same principal. Get some books on self confidence, go to a counselor if need be. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF! Its going to take time, but eventually if you keep thinking positive, you will feel better about yourself. And just a word of warning...any man that puts you down..RUN!
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