A
female
age
41-50,
*adedgirl
writes:I was with my ex for a year and thought we were totally in love. Then all of a sudden he started acting strangely, distancing himself from me. I suspected he was cheating and finished it. A few weeks later his ex girlfriend contacted me saying they had been together most of our relationship and had a baby together while we were still going out! That was three months ago and i still cant get my head round this. I am so angry still, but i feel he has got away with it because she has stayed with him. How can i move on? Its especilly hard cos i work with him, although i am moving onto another team in a few weeks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): I'm sorry for you horrible experience! I would be job-hunting if I were you! You should try to make a fresh start. It makes it so much harder when you have to look at him everyday! Concentrate on bettering yourself...new job, new hair-style, some new clothes, and even some new furnishings for your home (to make it your sanctuary...a place you enjoy coming home to) It all really helps gain a new attitude!
Hate and resentment are hurting you! Try to get to a point of indifference when it comes to him and his girlfriend. It's not easy, but it's worth the work! The things I mentioned above may seem trivial, but they worked for me!
And since my break-up over a year ago, I am a totally different person! I put myself first! I've even got a new guy in my life! And I'm happier than I've ever been in my life!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (30 November 2008):
 Hopefully 6 months from now you will realize how happy and grateful you are that he is out of your life! He will always cheat on her and it will be her problems, not yours. I guess you might see if you can feel sorry for her that she ended up having a baby with a guy like that.
It doesn't seem possible to get past the hurt at this point, but eventually we all do! Always trust your instincts. When you see him, don't even waste your time talking to him. He obviously doesn't care about anyone's feelings and he will not understand a thing. A waste of words and energy. Just smile and remain aloof when you see him. Nothing will drive a man more insane than a woman cutting them off without any explanation.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (30 November 2008):
 Put it down to experience. A year isnt really long in the life of a relationship on the scale of things. If you had been with him much longer you may have been able to pick up on the signs because obviously he has made time to see his ex and have a child between them. If you think back now some things will click into place about the times he wasnt with you, and where was he, what excuses did he use to be able to go and spend time with his ex etc etc.
He isn't worth it and its not right to have treat you like this. Thank God you are moving to another team in a few weeks, this will enable you further to move on with your life and forget this untrustworthy man. I wish you well. hope this helps.
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