A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I feel like i'm going round the twist. And i'm a jumped up opinionated, arrogant idiot! I spent 2 yrs with someone that lied and did me out of money, yet he has me now thinking it was me that is crazy. I daren't tell him where he's gone wrong because he wont have it. He tells me my family really thinks i'm crazy. They tell me he is playing mind games and is mad! And to stay away from him. We split up months ago, yet he still pulls the strings in txt, and i listen to it!I really wonder if its me thats crazy! I'm a parent and i dont even know now if i am any good at it anymore!I gave up smoking a few weeks ago, ive stuck to my guns, because its the only thing i actually have control of anymore. But i feel like i have no control of anything else in life!Anyone else feel like this? Or am i the only person that seems to be losing their marbles????
View related questions:
money, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2008): Yes, I know just how you feel. I am going through the same thing at this very moment. I was with a manipulative, controlling man. He took broke my self esteem bit-by-bit before I even realized what had taken place. My friends and family all told me he was controlling, but I believed him when he told me that not only were they mad, but I was, too.When I finally snapped out of my fog and saw the truth I ended it. Since then, he has gone down the path ruining me. He is basically defaming my character and I feel there is nothing I can do.He even told me that my children said things about me which I found out later had not been said at all. People like this are unstable and when one spends time with someone like that I think it makes one feel as though he/she is unstable as well. In fact, I think I may have gone a bit bonkers with him as at times (as long as he was in control) it seemed normal. He tried to isolate me from friends and family; he became my window on the world. So perhaps I was unstable during our courtship and engagement.Trust me, you are NOT crazy. I know it's tough, but hold your head up and ignore him. I am trying to do the same; although at times I must admit I slip back into that weak state of mind and wonder if it's me!Hang in there!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2008): If you are genuinely worried about your mental health go to your GP and talk to them. They will arrange for you to see a psychiatrist free of charge or another kind of mental health practitioner that best suits your problems. From reading your notes I don't think you are crazy at all, it just him playing cruel mind games and now involving your mother's sanity is nasty. He's just being a cruel man that you are best rid of. Your GP is your best bet.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not in luuurve no. We're no longer together, we split the begining of the yr. But stayed mates. But he seems hell bent on trying to make me feel bad. He said only today, that my mum doesn't know him so cant pass judgement on him, yet he also says he thinks theres more to my mum than meets the eye, and in so many words said she's barmy too! My mum is the nicest person you could meet! I think anyway :o/ Although i'm wondering how he thinks she's nuts cuz surely he doesn't know her anymore than she knows him?!
Then the next minute he tells me my mum has said this that and the other about me before to him, which obviously is the first ive heard of it. And i am now wondering if she has said things about me and i'm still wondering if its me that was the crazy one.
Although i did say to him more than once that we both know ourselves better than anyone does, and as long as we are happy with ourselves then why try to tell each other our faults? Its not like we are an item anymore, and that was of my choosing. But deep down it does make me think, the things he says! the ways he behaved were because i used to have a barrier up, never trusted him, and wouldn't let him get too close. Says that messed with his head. Ive tried telling him that was because there was always something telling me he couldn't be trusted. And when we split, i found out he had lied for some months, so i wasn't actually wrong!
Is there any way of speaking to someone to find out if you are a loon!? who would that be? a counsellor? How can i think of moving on and meeting someone until i know i'm not a major nut case???
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): This happened to me with my first husband. He would play really cruel mind games saying I had said things that I hadn't and making me feel so insecure that I doubted myself. In the end I didn't know if I was coming or going and was unable to complete even the simplest of tasks. I too loved him so much but it wasn't returned. I was always very calm and well balanced and this man turned me into a nutter, phoning all the time, screaming in public. following him etc. One day he just came home and said he wanted a divorce and moved out - no more communication about anything again. I kept ringing him constantly but he would never pick up or return calls. He truly drove me bonkers and this was because I was still in love with him. I so understand the desire to answer his txts and talk to him but he is not a nice man. Your family have seen straight through him and told you to keep away. Men that borrow money from females are never nice people. I too gave/ lent money to my ex husband as I thought we were in love but I never got it back and he was never that grateful. The mind control games are awful. You are not crazy and you are a good mother. This man does not love you or respect you. Cut your losses now and cut him off. Put some distance betwee you and this loser and do not respond any more and do not become sucked back in to his controlling mental games.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2008): Nope, many people feel like this. It's just a disease you've got called "Lurrveeee......". Your in love, so you act crazy and doubt everything.
Now when the guy loves you back, everythings OK, cause your both "IN LURRRVE...." together. But when somebody calls you a "jumped up, opinionated, arrogant idiot", hurts your feelings, lies to you, and takes your money, it's hard to believe that they love you in the same way.
Your family loves you, they want the best for you. They have known you longer than 2years. They don't like him, they think he's playing mind games and trying to drive you crazy, you feel crazy, you doubt yourself, you doubt your ability.
Have you always felt like this, or is this man damaging your mental health?
See this list by AskOlderSis, it may help you see more clearly, and help you see why your family (and me) dislike this man so much. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/warning-signs-youre-dating-a-loser.html
...............................
|
