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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I live in London. My ex boyfriend and I started going out last September after dating/friends for 9 months. He is a busy lawyer, 43, and I'm a student, almost one, 33yrs. We both have similar goals, spiritual backgrounds and want to get married and have kids. He was very sweet and loving and honest and we went to Hawaii in Christmas. It was beautiful for 10 days but he was frustrated with little things and when we got back, took 1 week to think about us. He told me he loved me and we stayed together. About 2 months later I told him I wanted to gete married and thought he was the one. 2 weeks later he said he wasn't sure, so I broke it off because I thought I couldn't change things.It's been 4 months with phone calls and meeting up 3 times for birthdays or drinks. He became flirtatious recently and I asked him to get back together last week and he said no, he was still confused. So I told him no more flirting, etc and he wanted to be friends. Two days ago, Friday, at 1 am he came over as he lost a case and cried on my shoulder and stayed the night. I thought we were back together, but he only texted me so I called on Sunday and asked him to drinks tonight.My question is: guys tell me to act firtatious and be confident and not talk about it. Girlfriends tell me to talk about it and see if there is a future, if not tell him no contact whatsoever. I think guys is a good plan to get together in the future as he is confused, but girl's way is better for me to understand. I could cancel and do nothing and see if he comes back. Is there hope? What to do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2006): There is no hope here. He is 43 years old and still don't know what he wants? There is too much confusion and insecurity on his part and I would suggest that you move on with your life and don't expect anything from him but friendship If you can deal with that or cut him out of your life for good. Good luck....
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