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My ex doesn't like it that I'm speaking with his cousin

Tagged as: Breaking up, Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 January 2020) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 January 2020)
A female United States age 22-25, *emara writes:

So my ex boyfriend and I broke up a month ago and his cousin in I have been talking for a while in my ex (Trevion ) is kind of mad because he thinks its wrong . so what should I do?

View related questions: broke up, cousin, my ex

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (30 January 2020):

Dionee' agony auntTechnically you're grown enough to do whatever it is that you want. However, your break up is pretty fresh, with that being the case; speaking to your ex's cousin does seem to be pretty shady regardless of whether you're being malicious or not, it can easily come across as you trying to purposely get under your ex's skin, to be fair. What people think is of little value, what's more important is the reason behind why you're speaking to the cousin of your ex. The motivation behind it is way more important because, if it's to get to your ex… that isn't wise, not to mention, you can seriously hurt people in the process while protecting yourself. If you're talking to this guy because you genuinely like him, it would bring up the conversation regarding whether or not you've been into him the whole time you were dating your ex because even if it's something that's new, it's still sketchy because it's so close to home, you know? There are plenty of other guys out there, I'm just wondering what it is about this guy in particular that tickles your fancy. At the end of the day; nobody can tell you what to do. Just make sure that you realise what this could mean for both you, and the cousin in terms of the drama that it will cause. If you like him enough to deal with is all; go for it if you'd like, if not; don't bother.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2020):

Are you doing it to get a rise out of your ex?

It's not very nice to breakup with a guy; and go chummy-up to a close male family-member shortly thereafter.

It's asking for drama, it causes friction between family-members; and it makes your actions seem spiteful, even though they're not. Are you being spiteful?

Give the breakup more time. It's too soon to be friendly with his cousin. It will cause the suspicion his cousin was always after you, or you were after his cousin all the while. Your motives seem questionable.

You may be innocent (?), but this is the kind of thing that starts family-feuds.

There's really no rule about it, but you have to remember that they are family. Don't rub his nose in it.

How would you feel if your ex decided he wanted to date one of your prettiest cousins? What would you do if you saw them out chilling on a date only a week from now?

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A female reader, Youcannotbeserious United Kingdom + , writes (30 January 2020):

Youcannotbeserious agony auntWith Honeypie all the way on this one.

WHY are you talking to the cousin? Is it to get one over on your ex? Is it in an attempt to make him jealous? Even if you genuinely like the cousin, surely you can understand why your ex is uncomfortable with the situation? Do you have a sister or a female cousin? Would you be ok with them chatting to your ex?

Unless you are deliberately trying to cause family drama, I would look to widen your horizons and pick someone from a different family to "talk" to. You've only been apart for a month. Why stir up needless drama?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (30 January 2020):

Honeypie agony auntWell, he is your ex, why does his opinion matter? why should he have ANY say in who you talk to? And why are you speaking to your ex?

However, WITH that being said... Is it really smart to be "talking" to someone in his family, right under his nose? I mean do you live in a place with only 2 available guys?

And who's next? a brother? his BFF?

See where I'm going here?

If you WANT to talk to his cousin, no one can really tell you that you can't. It's up to you and this cousin. Just be aware that it might create some family drama.

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